Finding Normal, Finding Us
by chakochick
Summary: Set around four-ish months after Voyager's return from the Delta quadrant, life isn't what Kathryn or Chakotay thought it would be. They come together in an unlikely place and embark on a journey to find themselves and ultimately, hopefully, each other. (Terrible synopsis, I'm sorry it's late at night) but please ready chapter one and you'll get an idea where this is going.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This story came to me the other day when I was driving home from work. Taking the long way, I was listening to good music and driving along the lakeshore and suddenly this idea came to me. I have no idea where exactly it's gonna go, and the rating might change later on, but I just thought it was a fun little notion. And in this version, Chakotay decided to leave Starfleet, so no Captain Chakotay in this story…but it's all good.

Also, I haven't watched all of Voyager yet, so I haven't seen all of End Game, and I've not read any of the novels so I'm sorry if any of the little details are wrong…I'm still learning. I also don't know what time of year Voyager returned to Earth, but for the purposes of this story, chapter one takes place right around this time of year (September/October) if that's wrong…whelp, sorry about it. Hee hee

= /\ =

A light rain was just starting to fall on the back on Chakotay's neck as he neared the small pub that was his destination. He didn't know it during their time on Voyager, but Tom Paris had based his holoprogram 'Sandrine's' on an actual tavern just outside San Francisco. Tom had warned Chakotay that it was in a seedy part of town but offered privacy from prying eyes of Starfleet elites, news reporters, paparazzi and the like. That was just what Chakotay was looking for tonight. A place to drown his sorrows where he was just another lonely face in the crowd.

It had been four months since their return to the alpha quadrant and Earth, and his world had been turned upside down in so many ways, he wasn't even sure what to make of it. The Delta quadrant had been dangerous and the future unknown, but he had been with his crew and his friends. He had been with Kathryn. The way life had been since their return made him want to turn tail, climb back aboard Voyager and disappear back into space.

Tom and B'Elanna were busy with Miral. Chakotay was so thrilled for the happy couple and had visited them several times. Tuvok had returned to Vulcan right away for his treatment but had made the journey back to Earth for Kathryn's promotion banquet. It hadn't taken long for Starfleet to promote their poster child to the rank of Admiral. It had been a lovely gala, and though he knew Kathryn was proud to wear her new Vice Admiral's bars, it was all so bittersweet.

And then there was Seven. He scowled at the thought, pushing his feelings for her away, as he always did then they threatened to suffocate him with anger.

He hadn't seen anyone else from the crew since the gala, and that was three months ago. After the debriefings and inquisitions and endless interviews and reports to write and file, he was finally free. Free from Starfleet, free from everything. He'd taken a trip to see Sekaya and his baby niece, but once returning to Earth, life seemed to come to a halt.

So tonight found him, as it had on multiple occasions over the last weeks, heading into Sandrine's to drown his sorrows in a bottle of Draylaxian Whiskey

He entered the dark and smoky pub, and as he always did when he walked in, felt a wave of bittersweet nostalgia as he spotted the pool table, the bar and the tables along the far wall. Tom had done a remarkable job with his holoprogram, right down to Sandrine herself. Although the real Sandrine had aged quite a from the version of her on the holodeck, the atmosphere was familiar…and yet foreign. He enjoyed being able to disappear in a small sea of faces for the evening. No one knew Commander Chakotay of the famed Starship Voyager had just walked in for a drink…and probably no one here would care anyways.

He found an empty seat at the bar and sat down. Sandrine came over, her blond curls perched messily on her head. "What can I get you?" She didn't have the French accent that she had in the holoprogram. It had shocked Chakotay the first time he heard her speak, but now he was used to it.

"Draylaxian Whiskey. Three fingers." She pulled the bottle down off the shelf and poured him at least four fingers, but he wasn't about to complain.

"Popular drink tonight." She slid the glass in front of him and put the bottle down next to it, knowing that he would be pouring for himself for the foreseeable future of the evening. He cocked a questioning eyebrow at her. "That redhead over there sitting by herself. The last booth. She's been nursing the same glass for over an hour." Chakotay turned and his heart leapt up into his throat.

She wasn't really a redhead, but he'd recognize that hair anywhere. She was facing away from him, running her finger absently over the rim of the glass. Picking up his own glass, and the bottle as well he nodded his thanks to Sandrine and headed for her table. Taking a deep breath, he spoke.

"Buy you a drink Admiral?"

= /\ =

Kathryn Janeway had finally had enough. Months and months of press releases, interviews, banquets and diplomatic meetings and she'd finally broken down. She couldn't do it anymore. She'd been given a weekend off when they first arrived home. That was it. A weekend. She'd immediately gone home to Indiana to see her mother and sister. She'd seen Mark and his wife, and their little boy. It had been wonderful to be home, but the entire time she felt like an outsider. The memories of Voyager too fresh in her mind. The memories of her crew dispersing and going their separate ways. She had done everything in her power to get them home, and now that it was finally done, she felt lost. More lost than she'd ever felt in the Delta quadrant.

She'd spent one evening with Tom and B'Elanna and Miral at Admiral Paris' house, and it had been lovely. They had spoken of happier times on Voyager; games of pool in the holodeck, fun on away missions. They even joked about the evolved children that they had left behind in the Delta quadrant, though Tom's face turned crimson at the thought, they all laughed until they cried. When Kathryn finally left for the evening, she felt lighter than she had in ages.

Then her promotion ceremony came, and when she saw Chakotay and Seven together, a knot had formed in her stomach that hadn't really ever left. He had gone to Dorvan V upon their return to visit his sister and her family but made it back in time for the promotion gala. He had congratulated her, but something was off. Their former camaraderie was gone, and distant formality lived in its place.

She hated it.

That was months ago now, and she hadn't seen any of her former crew since. In a sea of familiar Starfleet faces and her own family, she felt like a stranger.

Finally, she decided she had to get away. She notified Starfleet of her immediate leave of absence. The only person who truly supported her decision was Admiral Paris, and he promised her that he would smooth it over with anyone that got their knickers in a twist about their poster daughter suddenly vanishing from the limelight. Not knowing what she would do with her time away, she just knew she had to get out of the city.

Tom had told her back on Voyager when she'd questioned him about his holoprogram of Sandrine's, that it was indeed an actual place. He'd told her roughly where, and when she'd looked it up in the information directory, she was shocked to see that it was in a bad neighborhood. She also realized that no one there would recognize her or probably even care who she was. The type of people that frequented a bar like that probably didn't pay attention to front page news, where her face had graced the pages on a nearly daily basis. She wore a grey sweater and dark pants and was thrilled to see a corner booth open. Ordering a glass of Draylaxian Whiskey she sat down, taking of sip of her drink. It burned going down, and she realized in that moment why Zephram Cochrane had enjoyed it so much, all those years ago. The pain of the liquid was exquisite, and she let the second sip play on her tongue before swallowing it, her thoughts getting lost again in the past.

She didn't know how long she sat there, but the soft jazz from the jukebox and the cigar smoke filling the room lulled her into a state of unawareness, and she reveled in losing herself in a room full of people that didn't have a clue who she was.

She stared out the window of the pub as evening turned to night and a light rain began to land against the glass. She ran her fingers around the rim of the drink, still lost in thought when a voice she hadn't heard in months sounded right next to her, making her heart leap into her throat.

"Buy you a drink, Admiral?"

She jerked her head up to see his face, noting his five o'clock shadow and dark rings under his eyes. But his honeyed voice was the same as always as he stood, looking down at her. She realized he was waiting for an invitation to sit down. Against her better judgement, but extremely eager at the same time, she motioned for him to sit opposite her. She downed the rest of her drink, cringing as liquid fire shot down her throat, but she kept herself from coughing. He poured more of the whiskey in her glass, taking a drink from his own.

She watched him for a moment, her mind racing with thoughts. Why was he here? Did he know she would be here? How would he know she would be here? Where was Seven? Why wasn't he here with Seven? Why wasn't Seven here with him? She went with the easiest one first. "What brings you to Sandrine's tonight, Commander?" He cringed inwardly at her formality. Was she toying with his use of her title earlier, or had she really fallen back into Captain/Admiral/Commander territory? He desperately hoped it was the former.

"I needed to get away. Tom told me about this place, and I've been coming here a lot lately. It brings back nice memories." His honesty never ceased to set her a bit off kilter. He was so comfortable with his truths that it made her feel inadequate in her need to keep things to herself. "How are you, Kathryn? We haven't seen or heard much of you lately."

_We_. Her heart sank lower than it already was.

"I'm fine. I've been busy. I didn't realize how much work it took to be an Admiral." Her voice sounded far away. "Sometimes I miss the simplicity of life in the Delta quadrant." Realizing the absurdity of her words, they both chuckled, "Well, you know what I mean."

He nodded, grinning, the faintest hint of his dimples showing. "I know exactly what you mean. It feels good to come here and disappear." He took another drink. "I never thought I'd find you here though."

"I hadn't thought to come here until about an hour and a half ago." She was suddenly at a loss. "How's your sister? She had a baby recently, didn't she?" Easy topics. She could handle easy topics.

"Yes, a little girl. Naira. She's perfect. Sekaya is doing well. It was wonderful to see them." His face lightened at the thought of his family.

"Uncle Chakotay. I'm sure you wear that title well, and with pride." He smiled at her.

"How's your mother and sister? I'm sure it was wonderful to see them both." Kathryn nodded, but he saw pain in her eyes.

"Yes, it was, but – " she paused, not sure how much she wanted to go into this with him when the hurt of his loss was still so fresh. He reached across the table and lay his hand over hers. Her eyes went wide.

"But what?" She eyed him for another moment in silence. "It felt off? Like it wasn't really you that was there? Like you were an outsider watching someone else's family reunion? Home doesn't feel like you thought it would, does it?" Her jaw dropped.

"How did you know?" Her voice came out softer than she wanted it to, and she felt heat rise in her cheeks.

"I think everyone on Voyager is feeling something like that to a varying degree. Except Tuvok of course." Kathryn was just taking another drink and snorted out a laugh into her glass. He chuckled.

They were falling easily back into their old banter and it felt wonderful and painful at the same time. She desperately wanted to cling to it but knew that she couldn't. It wasn't hers anymore. He wasn't hers anymore…never really had been. "I'm taking a leave of absence." The words were out before she could stop them.

"What?" Chakotay set his glass down, searching her face. "When?"

"Today was my last day. I'm leaving San Francisco." She drained her glass again. His heart hammered in his chest. He couldn't lose her again so soon.

"For how long? Where are you going?" His eyes bore into hers and she had to look away for fear that tears would well up in her own. The look of longing on his face made her chest tighten.

"Indefinitely, and I don't know. I just have to get away from Starfleet. I can't do the press junkets and interviews and fake smiling anymore." She took the bottle with an unsteady hand and poured herself more whiskey, and for him as well. It was, she was sure, a mistake, but right now she didn't care. She welcomed the loss of herself and her thoughts.

Chakotay's heart pounded in his chest as he tried to come up with something, anything to keep her from leaving. The most obvious answer came to him and he brought it to her without really thinking of the ramifications.

"You want to disappear from everything for a while, right?" She nodded, not meeting his gaze. "I have an idea for you." Her head snapped back at him, curious where he was going with this. "I have an old family friend that lives in Michigan. I spoke to her last week and she's invited me to come and stay with her for a while. Since I've turned down a commission in Starfleet, I don't really have anything tying me here, so I've decided to take her up on her offer. I haven't seen her since before I joined the Maquis and have only spoken to her a handful of times between then and Voyager." Kathryn didn't understand where this was leading. He'd never mentioned this woman before. "I'm sure she would be thrilled to have you come and stay too."

Kathryn listened to his words, pausing to let them really sink in. Too? Go on an extended vacation with Chakotay? Her heart pounded in her chest as thought after thought came to life in her mind. Most of them were lovely and her heart ached at the thought of spending time with him, but then the face of a certain blonde former borg flashed in her mind and her heart sank. Her voice came out in a whisper. "What about Seven?"

Chakotay opened his mouth, but no sound came out and he closed it again. She didn't know. Of course, she didn't know. They hadn't spoken in months. He opened his mouth again and his voice was as low as hers, "Seven and I aren't together." His brown eyes searched hers and she saw a hurt there that ran deep. She wanted to ask him about it but knew it wasn't her place. The thought was rendered moot anyways when he spoke again. "That's a story for another day and will take a lot more alcohol." His tone was bitter, but Kathryn knew it was bitterness directed at the blonde, not at herself. It was her turn to reach across the table and rest her hand on his gently. He looked down at it before meeting her eyes once again. "I'm leaving tomorrow morning from the Alameda transport station." He slid his hand out from under hers and finished his drink. "I think it would be really good for you, Kathryn, and I know Emma would really love to meet you."

"You're leaving tomorrow morning?" That was soon. Too soon for her to make a decision.

But what else was she going to do? She wanted to see her mother and sister again, but at the same time, she wasn't ready. She had too many of her own demons to face and conquer before she could really open up to her loved ones the way she wanted to. "Tell me about this friend of yours."

Chakotay was elated that she was even entertaining the idea. "Well, like I said, her name is Emma. She was orphaned when she was just a newborn, and my grandfather took her in while we still lived on Dorvan V. We grew up together through our teens, until I left with my father to visit Earth. I think she was around ten or eleven years old. She stayed with my mother and sister for a time before coming to Earth with several of my cousins. She settled in Northern Michigan with a tribe of the Potawatomi. She eventually moved to Western Michigan and has a farm there. She owns a small bed and breakfast on Whitefalls Lake across the road from her home. I've been there one time, years ago. She's invited me to visit again."

Kathryn was struck. "You've never told me about her before." She rested her chin in her hand, the effects of the alcohol making her suddenly sleepy in the warm pub.

"I know, but we haven't told each other a lot of things, have we?" He let that question hang heavy in the air before changing the subject. "So, what do you think?"

Kathryn's head swam and her arms and legs felt heavy. She'd wished now that she hadn't had so much to drink so she could think more clearly. "I don't know. This is very sudden." She pinched the bridge of her nose. "How long are you staying there?"

"Undecided."

"I'm not sure."

"Well, think on it tonight. I'm going to be at the transport station at 0900 hours. The transport is at 0930. If you're not there by 0920 then I'll know you're not coming. No pressure either way, but I do think you would enjoy yourself." She realized then that the conversation was over and that Chakotay was leaving. He slid out of his seat and stood up next to Kathryn. "Have a good night, Admiral," his dimples played on his cheeks and he brushed his fingers against her jaw. She closed her eyes at the contact, and when she opened them again, he was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay carried his pack over his shoulder. Packing was easy for him; several sweaters, several pairs of pants and underthings; a t-shirt in case it was warm and toiletries. He was visiting one of his closest friends and didn't need to stand on ceremony on her account. Entering the Alameda transport station at just before 0900 hours he went straight for the café there. He ordered himself an herbal tea, and, on a hopeful whim, a large cup of coffee. He took the beverages and sat down at a table near the walkway in view of the entrance. He took a deep breath, hoping against hope that she'd show up.

He was desperate for her to show up. There were so many things that he still needed to say to her; so many things that he needed her to know. They'd left things badly on Voyager, and after the whole Seven debacle and Kathryn's promotion ceremony, he didn't know at all where they stood anymore. He felt as though they had become strangers. Life in the Delta quadrant had been an unknown, but it was familiar, and he knew where he stood with her. He knew where they stood. He felt he needed to get to know her all over again, and for some reason, this felt like their last chance. Taking a slow shuddering breath in, he prayed to the spirits that she would show up. He took a sip of his tea, closing his eyes as the warmth flowed down his throat and to his stomach. He focused on the sensation as it spread through his arms and legs. Taking a deep, calming breath, he opened his eyes again.

And there she was.

= /\ =

Kathryn awoke to her alarm with a headache and a hangover. She felt queasy and grumpy and forgot for a moment why she had set her alarm so damn early. Glancing at the clock on the night stand she slammed her hand down on it to shut the alarm off. It was 0700 and she groaned as she rolled over in bed. Laying on her back she closed her eyes again for a moment, willing her headache to go away.

What was she doing? She had decided after Chakotay left last night that there were things that still needed to be said. She had things she wanted to know and knew that there were things that she needed to hear. She missed her First Officer and comrade. She missed her best friend. In the entire universe he had been her constant, and since he had been gone, she felt like she couldn't catch her balance. Everything felt off kilter without him around, and she knew that she couldn't carry on like this. They either needed to rectify the situation or she had to cut all ties. It was her faith in it being the former that made her decision for her to go with him. With another groan she threw herself out of bed towards her replicator. After getting hyposprays for her headache and nausea she headed towards the shower. "Computer, shower, forty four degrees."

"The recommended maximum water temperature is forty one degrees." The computer scolded her.

"Shut up and give me a damned forty four degrees." The computer instantly complied, and the water began pounding her body. She let it beat down on her for a moment while the hyposprays really kicked in. Once her head felt a bit clearer, she reached for her lavender shampoo and began to work it through her hair. Her hair had grown a bit since they'd gotten back, but it still wasn't as long as she preferred it. Shorter hair on Voyager was much easier to take care of, but she missed the femininity of her longer hair and had every intention of growing it back out. Relaxing a bit as the scent of lavender filled her shower stall, she smiled lightly to herself at the thought of spending time with Chakotay; an indefinite amount of time. Nervous butterflies flitted around in her stomach as she rinsed her hair and reached for the conditioner. She was looking forward to this more than she should have been, the more she thought about it and the less fuzzy her brain felt. But her thoughts also kept drifting back to Seven of Nine.

Though Chakotay said they weren't together…they had been. She had seen them on the Bridge together, and the memory of it still broke her heart. She had wanted to scream at them. Her heart _did_ scream at them, even as she remained silent. How dare Seven take what was hers, and Chakotay give it to the blonde so freely.

But it hadn't been hers. His affection had never been hers.

No, that was wrong, she thought to herself as she rinsed her hair and washed her body. His affection _had_ been hers…she had just never accepted it. She had drawn that line in the sand for them years ago, and even though Chakotay made it quite clear that he would be standing right on the other side, waiting to cross whenever she was ready, she had stayed on the side of 'defining parameters' and kept him at arm's length. What did she expect him to do after seven years of waiting? She cringed at the thought of driving him into the arms of another woman and hoped that this trip might mend fences between them if nothing else.

She missed him so much that it physically hurt.

Commanding the water off and the sonic dry on, she exited the shower stall and slipped her bathrobe on. She had been in no mood or coordination to do any packing the night before after she stumbled her way back into her apartment. She now pulled her suitcase from its place in the back of her closet and tried to decide what to pack. She had no idea how long she'd be gone but figured she could use a refresher there or do laundry while she was gone but wanted also to have a variety of clothing options. She knew how unpredictable October could be in Indiana and figured that Michigan weather was similar, especially being near the lake. She packed several sweaters and nicer pants, as well as several pairs of lounge pants and t-shirts. Warm and cool weather pajamas and as many pairs of underwear and bras as would fit, her toiletries and several pairs of shoes and she struggled to zip the case shut. Figuring she could replicate anything she was missing she decided to figure out what to wear for the day. Pulling up the weather forecast for Whitefalls, Michigan it was currently 13 degrees Celsius and sunny. She found herself actually longing for fall weather. California was nice, but she missed the cooler weather of the Midwest. It had been summer when she'd visited her mother and sister and the Indiana weather was beautiful, but she hadn't seen real fall weather in over seven years. She hoped there would be some chilly mornings that she could take a walk and see her breath in the air.

Going back to her closet she pulled out a grey cashmere sweater and some dark blue jeans. The sweater was one of her favorites and was very soft and comfortable. She also hadn't had occasion to wear jeans in years. She pulled on a pair of black flats and decided to wear her hair in a simple ponytail. She applied a light dusting of makeup; a little blush to make her look more awake and less hungover than she was and she felt ready to meet Chakotay. It was 0845. She had time to walk to the air bus terminal and catch a lift across the bay to the Alameda station.

= /\ =

It was just after 0900 hours when Kathryn reached the station. The butterflies in her stomach hadn't left her since she'd woken up that morning, and though she knew she should have eaten breakfast, she felt too nervous to be hungry. She kicked herself for not even grabbing coffee before she left. She had been so preoccupied that coffee had actually slipped her mind. Chiding herself for her ridiculousness, she lowered the handle on her suitcase and lifted it up as she climbed the several dozen stairs into the station. The doors opened as she and several other people approached, and she was glad that no one seemed to notice her.

Everywhere she went in public lately, it seemed that someone recognized her. Admiral Kathryn Janeway, the hero of Starfleet. She had even been asked to sign several autographs. It felt so foreign and she felt glad to be in public in civilian clothing. With her hair pulled back in an unfamiliar hairstyle, she just looked like another traveler, on her way to who knows where. She extended the handle on her suitcase and began pulling it, realizing that she had no idea where to meet Chakotay, only that he would be at the station. Taking a deep breath, she scanned the faces around her. Her eyes traveled to a group of tables near the café.

She spotted him instantly.

He sat at a table facing the entrance, and his eyes were shut. He looked so peaceful with his hands wrapped around a mug of what she could only guess to be tea. What made her heart swell was the other mug sitting opposite him on the table. As if sensing someone watching him, he opened his eyes and they landed right on her.

His smile lit up his face.

The butterflies were in a flurry as Kathryn walked towards him. As she neared his table he stood up. "Good morning, Kathryn." He beamed at her as she rested her suitcase next to his duffel on the floor. "You look lovely this morning. Can I guess that several hyposprays had something to do with that?" He joked at her, lightening the tension that he knew she was feeling.

Making her burden lighter…just as he always did.

"What makes you say that, _Commander_?" She joked right back.

"Because it took me three hyposprays to feel somewhat like myself after all of that Whiskey last night. I can only imagine what it did to you. You're smaller than me." He flashed his dimples again.

"Well, yes you guessed correctly." She took a deep breath, "But I decided that your idea of disappearing for a while sounds lovely, and I have to admit…" she let out a nervous sigh, "I have missed spending time with my friend." Her eyes met his and searched for something, anything to show that her feelings were reciprocated. He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it.

"I have missed you too, Kathryn, more than I can tell you." He let her hand go but his gaze held hers, "We have a lot of catching up to do, I think. As wonderful as it was to get back home, I believe a change of scenery will be good for both of us." She nodded, sitting down across from where he was sitting, and he joined her.

"Please tell me that coffee is for me." Her voice almost had a whining quality to it and Chakotay laughed out loud.

"Yes, of course it is." He slid the cup towards her and she took it gratefully, closing her eyes as she took a sip, a moan of satisfaction sounding in her throat. Chakotay smiled, loving her reaction to her first cup of coffee in the morning. He'd bring her coffee every morning for the rest of her life to see that look of gratification on her face every day.

"So your friend lives in Whitefalls. You said she runs a farm?" Kathryn took another sip of her coffee then set the cup down.

"More of a hobby farm. It's about ten acres and mostly wooded, but she raises chickens and gardens for the community." He took a sip of tea. "I probably should have warned you, it's a low technology community." He pulled on his ear gently, hoping that wouldn't turn Kathryn off from going with him.

Kathryn's jaw dropped for a moment before a smile lifted the left side of her mouth, "You're not going to make me sleep on the ground outside, are you? This is supposed to be a relaxing vacation away." He grinned at her playfulness.

Kathryn knew that America was full of low technology communities, but she'd never visited one. There were many pockets of people that preferred to keep to the older ways whenever possible. While Kathryn couldn't imagine living without a replicator, many people did it, and she had to commend their gumption. It would be interesting to spend time away from technology…she hoped.

"No sleeping outside, I promise. Emma's place has electricity, running water and a comm system. She just doesn't have a replicator on the property, and most all of the work there is done my hand or with old fashioned machinery. She even has a retrofitted road car. I've never ridden in one, but it should be quite the adventure."

Kathryn's eyebrows went up as she took another drink of her coffee, feeling a little more awake than she had earlier. "I've never ridden in one before either. Not a real one. My sister and I went four wheeling in a holosuite once, but that was a disaster." She laughed into her drink.

Chakotay smiled to himself, glad that she was still looking forward to their trip. "Well, we should head to the transporter pad," he took one last long sip of his tea to finish it and set his mug down on the table. Kathryn finished her coffee in a similar fashion and glanced up at the time piece on the wall, 0920. She stood up and reached for her suitcase. "That's alright, Kathryn, I can get it." He slung his duffel over his shoulder and extended the handle on her suitcase, leaving her nothing to carry but her messenger bag that was already slung across her shoulder. She'd packed several books, and her toiletries in the messenger when they wouldn't fit in her suitcase.

"Thank you, Chakotay." He nodded, falling in step next to her, and she smiled to herself, her cheeks tinting pink at the warmth of his hand as it found its customary spot at the small of her back.

They walked in silence down the concourse for midwestern travel. There was a line of about thirty people ahead of them, and Kathryn looked confused when Chakotay turned them towards the transporter pad that read 'Chicago, IL.' She turned to look at him quizzically. His brown eyes shone. "I thought we'd transport in two trips, just in case someone sees or recognizes you and sees where we're going. We'll go to Chicago first, then transport to Michigan from there. Throw anyone off the scent." He knew of Kathryn's troubles with the press and paparazzi and wanted them to be free of it all on their trip.

Kathryn gave his arm a squeeze. "That's very thoughtful of you. I appreciate it." He nodded and they made their way onto the transporter pad destined for Chicago's old O'Hare International Airport. It had been converted into a transport hub for intercontinental and international travel, and several seconds after they, along with about forty other people stepped onto the pad, the transport technician operated the controls and they were on their way.

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed. I kind of picture in my head the transport hubs like airports for transporting people. Different 'gates' for different destinations. I'm sure that's not at all what it would be like, but that's just the thought that came to me. This one was kind of short, I know, but just a build up to the actual vacation. Have a lovely night, and if you have a chance, let me know what you think! Thanks! xoxo


	3. Chapter 3

The transport to Chicago went smoothly and Chakotay led them from their arrival concourse to the departure terminal. The transport hub was full of people, but no one gave them a second glance, and Kathryn was loving it. She enjoyed being an anonymous civilian and could tell that Chakotay enjoyed it as well. He hadn't faced nearly the examination and public scrutiny that she had, but as her First Officer people were fascinated with his role in their travels through the Delta quadrant. He'd handled it gracefully, but she knew that it had taken its toll. He was such a private person, and it had to have been hard for him to have the last seven years of his life on such public display. No wonder he wanted to get away from it all. She understood that feeling completely.

They reached the end of the hallway and two smaller transporter pads rested on either side of the concourse. Kathryn knew that smaller pads were meant for travel to smaller, less popular cities. Each pad could transport a maximum of four people; much smaller than the one they had arrived on that could transport up to fifty. Chakotay and Kathryn moved to the pad on the left side of the hall and the transport operator greeted them, not showing any recognition of who either one of them were. Kathryn was grateful.

"Good morning," the young woman spoke, "Destination?"

"Grand Harbor, Michigan." Kathryn's brow furrowed lightly, but she didn't want to question Chakotay in front of the worker. She moved off to look out the window at the old airport runway strips while he spoke to the transport tech. Several were overgrown with grass and small trees, but some of the concrete runways were still in good shape. She wished she could have seen the airport in its heyday; watching mammoth airplanes take off and land there.

"Very good, sir. Give me a moment to contact their transport hub and we'll have you on your way in a few minutes." She gave a friendly but professional smile and began working at her computer station. Chakotay backed up towards the window where Kathryn stood waiting. He knew she was confused at his request of transport stations. He leaned over and spoke in a low tone that the computer operator wouldn't hear.

"Whitefalls doesn't have a transport station. The nearest one is in Grand Harbor. It's about a thirty-minute ride from there to Emma's place. She's going to pick us up at the transport station." Kathryn nodded, feeling silly for not realizing that of _course_ a low technology community wouldn't have a transport hub.

"So, Emma knows I'm coming with you?" He nodded. "When did you talk to her?" Kathryn wondered what Chakotay's friend knew about her but didn't want to press.

"I comm-ed her this morning. We finalized our plans and I let her know that I was bringing you with me. She's looking forward to meeting you." His dimples pressed lightly into his cheeks.

Kathryn's heart picked up; she really wanted to know now she he had told his friend about her, but just as she opened her mouth to ask, the transport attendant spoke up. "Grand Harbor transport station is online and awaiting transport. You're all set to go." Her chipper voice cut through Kathryn's thoughts, and with one last look at the sparkle in Chakotay's eyes, she turned and headed for the pad, the feel of his hand again at her back as he followed.

=/\=

The transport station in Grand Harbor was very small; only one pad and dated décor. The transport attendant, an elderly man grinned at them as the appeared before him. "Welcome to Grand Harbor." Chakotay and Kathryn nodded their thanks and stepped off the pad, heading in the direction of the door.

Chakotay still pulled Kathryn's suitcase and she walked quietly next to him down the small hallway to the entrance. There were several people around, but it seemed that most of them were employees of the transport station. A few people in business suits moved around the hallways probably on their way to business meetings or office work of some kind. No one paid any attention to Kathryn of Chakotay.

They reached the door and it slipped open revealing the cool early afternoon air and sunshine. Kathryn closed her eyes for the briefest moment and took a deep breath, the cool air filling her lungs and waking her up more than her hyposprays and coffee had done. She was just going to comment on the wonderful weather when a shriek off to their left startled her eyes open.

"Chakotay!"

Kathryn's head jerked in the direction of the voice and she took a step back as a young woman was running full tilt at them. Chakotay chuckled. "Brace yourself," he spoke softly as he dropped his duffel off his shoulder and let go of Kathryn's suitcase.

The young woman launched herself at Chakotay and Kathryn's mouth fell open as the girl threw her arms around Chakotay's neck and her legs came around his waist. Chakotay laughed out loud and his own arms came around the girl, squeezing her tight. The grin on his face as his eyes closed brought a tightness to Kathryn's chest as he let out a sigh of satisfaction. There was such love in his expression that she felt a small furl of jealousy in the pit of her stomach, but before she could make and sense of it the woman dropped out of Chakotay's arms and landed on her feet. She then proceeded to punch him in the shoulder. "Don't EVER make me wait so long to see you again." He grinned, placing his palm against her cheek, taking in her smiling face and tear-filled eyes.

"Damn it's good to see you, Emma. You look exactly the same as you always did." She grinned, pulling him into another hug.

"And you look older big brother." She laughed and squeezed him, "The Delta quadrant took a few years off." She backed up again, placing her hands on Chakotay's shoulders so she could take him in. They grinned at each other as Kathryn stood silently off to the side. She felt suddenly awkward; like a third wheel as she watched this family reunion. "And oh my gosh, we're being so rude." She let go of Chakotay and turned to face Kathryn.

Kathryn took in the sight of the woman before her. She looked to be in her early thirties, estimating by her appearance and Chakotay's story yesterday of their growing up together. She had light brown hair, tied back into a messy knot at the back of her head. Her skin tone was nearly the same as Chakotay's, but Kathryn could tell that it was from hours out in the sun and not Chakotay's native heritage. She wore the same tattoo over her left eye, and, just like Chakotay, it suited her naturally. Her eyes were the same warm brown as Chakotay's, and Kathryn had to remind herself that they weren't related by blood. She wore a grey zip up sweatshirt, faded blue jeans and work boots. Her smile was infectious.

Chakotay grinned at Kathryn as he stood next to Emma, "Kathryn, this is Emma Taylor. Emma, it is my honor to introduce you to Admiral Kathryn Janeway." Emma's smile grew and before Kathryn realized it, she was being pulled into a hug of her own. Chakotay smiled to himself as Kathryn was enveloped in the embrace.

Kathryn was shocked at the hug, but instantly responded to it. Emma squeezed her so tight it brought tears of emotion to her own eyes. This wasn't how two strangers embraced. This was how someone who cares greatly for you hugs you, and Kathryn's breath caught in her throat at the kind gesture. She'd known this woman for all of thirty seconds, but Emma hugged her with such love and friendship that she couldn't help but slightly melt into the embrace. Finally, Emma pulled back, wiping tears from her brown eyes. "It is so great to meet you, Kathryn. Chakotay's told me so much about you, and I am so glad to have you here…and thankful to you for bringing him back to us."

Kathryn's mind was still trying to recover. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Emma. But don't give me all the credit. Chakotay had a hand in getting us home safely." Chakotay stepped over next to Kathryn, grinning at Emma.

"Kathryn is being modest, but in all honesty, we have the entire crew to thank for getting us home safely." Kathryn looked at him and nodded silently.

"Well, I can't wait to hear all about it," Emma was absolutely beaming. "Here, give me your bag, Kathryn." Emma reached for her messenger, and Kathryn could tell by the look on her face that she wouldn't take no for an answer. "Make yourself useful brother, grab those other bags." Emma smirked at him and he grinned back.

"One minute you're happy to see me, the next you're ordering me around." Emma stuck her tongue out at him, but smiled, pulling her arm around Kathryn's shoulders.

"Come on you two, my truck is just down the road."

Her truck looked very similar to pictures that Kathryn had seen of 21st century SUVs, but this one had been modified to run on electricity instead of gasoline. It was royal blue and had heavily treaded tires that could easily handle paved or dirt and stone roads. Emma opened the back hatch and Chakotay deposited their bags. He moved towards the front passenger door and opened it for Kathryn. "No, you sit up front. You two have catching up to do." Kathryn gave him a warm smile and nodded, making sure he knew that she didn't mind in the slightest. Chakotay nodded, moving to instead open the back door for her. Smiling at his chivalry, she slid into the back seat and he closed the door gently before taking his place up front. Emma got in and fired up the engine. Though it was electric, the motor roared to life and Kathryn's eye went wide.

"This vehicle is fascinating. A friend of mine would be tripping over himself in delight if he could be here to experience this." Kathryn looked around the inside of the vehicle. She'd only seen several like it, and only in pictures. She knew that there was still a fair few around, but most of them belonged to the low-tech communities, and she never figured she'd have occasion to see one in person. Chakotay smiled as she spoke. He knew she was thinking of Tom.

"Maybe when Miral is a little older, we could invite Tom and B'Elanna here." Chakotay looked out the window as Emma pulled them away from the curb on onto the road.

"Who are Tom and B'Elanna?" Emma glanced in her sideview mirror, but hers was the only vehicle on the road. Overhead several airbuses and smaller crafts slid through the air, but on the road, it was just them. Chakotay turned in his seat to glance back at Kathryn, allowing her to answer.

"Lieutenant Tom Paris and his wife B'Elanna. Tom was our helmsman and B'Elanna was our Chief Engineer. Two more people who were paramount in getting us home in one piece."

"Tom Paris? I've heard that name before," Emma glanced at Chakotay as she moved the vehicle from the main road onto an old expressway. "and not under such nice terms." Chakotay smiled bashfully, tugging gently on his ear.

"Times change. I wasn't thrilled to be reunited with Tom at first, but he saved my life on our first away mission. He saved all of our lives many times over." Kathryn hummed in agreement, remembering the tension that lived between the two men when they were first reunited on Voyager.

"Well that sounds like another great story, and I'd love to have them come visit anytime. I'd love to meet your whole crew." She smiled as she drove north on the expressway, "But first things first. You two deserve some R&R of your own. And lunch. Are you hungry?"

Chakotay glanced at Kathryn, a knowing grin on his face. "I had a light breakfast, but if I had to guess, I'd say that all Kathryn's had this morning was coffee, and I'd bet anything that I'm right." Kathryn chuckled.

"I could go for a bite to eat." Emma grinned at her in the rearview mirror.

"You still an herbivore big brother?" Chakotay sighed out a laugh, nodding. "How about you, Kathryn? Carnivore or herbivore?"

"Ha, carnivore."

"Good answer. Well, alright then, I know just where we can go. Do you like Mexican food?" Kathryn nodded. "Good, then we'll have lunch in about fifteen minutes.

=/\=

Kathryn watched the scenery go by as they drove. The expressway was old and full of potholes and bumps, but Emma seemed to navigate it expertly, and the suspension of her vehicle was superb; the ride was more comfortable that Kathryn might have thought for such an old model vehicle. Emma had obviously done a lot of work to maintain it. The expressway slowly traveled downhill, and they were soon traveling through the river flats, though Kathryn didn't know which river. It was very marshy with patches of water visible. A pair of swans slid gracefully through the water and Kathryn marveled at the trees on both sides of the expressway. The leaves shone golden yellow and red in the sun as early autumn began to turn them. She hadn't seen fall colors in years and the sight was beautiful.

Before long the river was out of sight and the trees began to come closer to the road until the sky was almost completely blocked out by green, yellow and red leaves. "Beautiful country you have up here, Emma. It reminds me a bit of home."

"Where are you from, Kathryn?" Emma glanced in the rearview mirror.

"Bloomington, Indiana." Emma hummed and nodded.

"I've been there a few times. Lovely area. It must be so good to be back on Earth."

"Yes." Kathryn answered but her voice was suddenly far away, and Chakotay knew what she was feeling. They had discussed it yesterday. He was feeling the same way. Emma glanced at Chakotay questioning Kathryn's missive answer, but he just shook his head gently. That would be a conversation for another time.

Before Kathryn knew it they were taking an exit off the highway and pulling back onto another paved road. This time though, several other vehicles shared the road with them. Some looked newer than Emma's and some looked even older and Kathryn admired them all. Tom really would love it here.

Emma pulled them into an old parking lot where a row of buildings stood in varying states of disarray. Most of them were broken down; one building had a large hole in the front/roof, but the building on the far left was well kept and had a large sign overtop that read "San Marco's" and there were people inside. Emma parked the vehicle and shut the engine off. Kathryn was just reaching for her door handle when Chakotay quickly got out and opened it for her. Eyeing him suspiciously but with a grin, she took his offered hand and climbed down.

"If you like Mexican food, Kathryn, you're in for a treat. Marco's cooking is out of this world." She spun to face them and noticed Chakotay's hand at Kathryn's back, a smile spreading across her face.

"Marco, as in Marco Alvarez?" Chakotay's mouth fell open.

"The very same. He will be over the moon to see you big brother." Emma beamed as she approached the door, opening it for Kathryn and Chakotay.

The smell of Mexican spices hit her immediately and Kathryn felt her stomach growl, though it couldn't be heard over the soft music playing from speakers around the room. Emma waved at the hostess and walked straight towards a booth near the far window. Kathryn and Chakotay followed close behind. Kathryn sat down opposite Emma and felt her heart flutter when Chakotay slid in next to her. The booth was small, and his thigh rested lightly against hers. She had a bit of room between her and the window, but quite liked the warmth of his nearness, so she didn't move. Chakotay didn't seem to mind either.

The atmosphere in the restaurant was authentic Mexican and Kathryn looked around at the other patrons. There were several families with young children and a table in the opposite corner with several older men seated, playing some type of card game. One of the men was looking towards them. Kathryn looked away but chanced a glance back and saw that he was still looking. Kathryn nudged Chakotay and spoke to both he and Emma. "That man over there is staring at us." Chakotay glanced over surreptitiously and his mouth dropped open as he looked back at Emma.

"Is that Cheveyo?" Emma glanced over and nodded, waving at the old man.

"It sure is." Chakotay didn't take his eyes off the old man as he slid back out of the booth.

"Excuse me, I'll be right back." He glanced quickly at Kathryn with a smile, letting her know that all was well. As he moved away, Kathryn watched him approach the old men before looking back at the young lady across from her.

"Who's Cheveyo?" Emma smiled, watching Chakotay embrace the old man before sitting down at their table, his dimples on full display and his laugh traveling across the room as he talked to his friend. She turned back to Kathryn.

"Cheveyo is an old family friend. He was friends with Chakotay's grandfather and traveled with us from Dorvan V to Earth after Chakotay's father and grandfather died. I've kept an eye on him the last few years. He has nerve pain and back problems and has trouble getting around. Those other guys get him out once or twice a week for lunch." Kathryn nodded, watching Chakotay visit with the old men. She was glad she got to witness all of this happiness that he was experiencing. He'd been deprived for so long. "How about you, Kathryn? What family do you have here on Earth?" A waiter came over and brought a pitcher of water and three glasses. Emma poured water in all of them, but they decided to wait to order until Chakotay came back.

"My mother and sister still live in Indiana. My father passed away many years ago. I…" she was going to talk about Mark but didn't really know how to go about it. Seeing the warmth in Emma's eyes though, it seemed easy all of a sudden. "I was engaged when we left on our mission, but my fiancé met someone else while we were gone and got married." She took a sip of water.

"Oh, Kathryn, I'm so sorry." Kathryn waved her hand at the young girl.

"No, it's fine. He had given us up for dead, and to be honest, I'd given up hope of ever seeing him again. When I got a letter from him that he'd gotten married, I was sad at first, but then actually relieved. I didn't have to worry about my feelings for him anymore…or rather my lack of feelings. We'd spent years in the Deltra quadrant by that point and our lives were all kind of in stasis. It felt so good hearing from home, but I wasn't sure at first how I felt getting a letter from Mark." Kathryn paused, not sure why she was divulging all of this to a perfect stranger, but there was just something comfortable about Emma, "I'll always care about him, but I'd fallen out of love with him somewhere along our journey." She took another sip of her water, "The Delta quadrant changed me. It changed all of us. I can't really explain it."

Emma nodded, "I think I know what you mean. I can't relate, but I could just see it in Chakotay's eyes the few times I've spoken with him since you've returned. Even through the communication screen I can see something different in his face; in his eyes." The waiter brought over a platter with chips, salsa and guacamole. "I really am so grateful to you, Kathryn, for bringing Chakotay back safely. Other than Sekaya, my family is all gone. I thought Chakotay was gone too and finding out that he was still alive was one of the happiest moments of my life." Emma's eyes filled with tears, but she didn't let them fall.

"It was my duty to get my crew home safely, but we never would have made it back without Chakotay. He saved my life many times over." He voice grew distant as she thought back to some of the horrible situations they'd been in on Voyager, and how, some way or another, they'd always found their way back to the other. "We saved each other." Kathryn felt her own eyes burn, but kept her composure as Emma's smile widened. Kathryn was uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation and decided to quickly change it. "I notice you call him big brother." It was a question laced in a statement. Emma grinned knowingly at her subject change, but went along with her anyways.

"Well, his grandfather took me in after my parents died, but I grew up with Chakotay and Sekaya. We spent every day for nearly a decade together. I think grandfather secretly hoped I'd make a good match for Chakotay someday, but that was never in the cards for us. He's been like a brother to me since I can remember. Sekaya and I always got along really well, but Chakotay and I were inseparable. It saddened me when he didn't follow in his father's and grandfather's footsteps spiritually. I gravitated towards it from an early, as did Sekaya, but Chakotay was stubborn." Emma's eyes drifted off as she spoke, remembering a young and rebellious Chakotay. Kathryn pictured him in her mind's eye, and it brought a smile to her face. "It took his father's death for Chakotay to come to terms with his heritage and the spirits around him. He finally created a medicine bundle and began praying to his animal guide."

Kathryn looked from Emma's brown eyes to her tattoo and back again. There were so many similarities between the young woman and Chakotay, Kathryn had to remind herself, yet again, that there was no blood relation between them. She took a sip of her own water. "I'm sure it was hard on all of you when he wanted to attend Starfleet Academy."

"Hm, it was hard on his father. I knew even from an early age that Chakotay wouldn't find the answers he sought on the ground. His heart was always in the sky. I missed him a lot when he came to Earth. And I worried about him so much when he joined the Maquis. He would send communications sporadically, but I knew how much his father's death enraged him. I always worried that the anger would completely consume him." She reached out and took Kathryn's hand, "I don't know what you did to help him find peace within himself, but I'm so glad you did."

Kathryn felt her cheeks redden, suddenly her mind was vaulted back six-ish years to a midnight conversation with Chakotay on New Earth. She had listened, teary eyed, as Chakotay spoke of an angry warrior that had found the true meaning of peace in the woman that sat across from him. That had been a sacred moment, and Kathryn didn't want to ruin it by speaking of it now. She smiled across the table at the young woman. "We became very close friends during our seven years together. I think we both changed each other for the better. I know he made me a better captain, and a better person. I just hope he can say the same about me."

"Well, I know that Chakotay cares about you a great deal, and I can tell that you care about him too."

Kathryn hummed in the back of her throat; a sound that neither confirmed nor denied Emma's statement about her feelings. Emma grinned.

"Well I know for a fact that he adores you, and that's the truth." Kathryn felt her heart pound in her chest at the statement.

"How could you possibly know something like that?"

Emma grinned, "Because he told me so himself."

Kathryn's mouth dropped open and just as she was about to refute and question the young woman's announcement, Chakotay came back over to the table and sat down next to Kathryn. She closed her mouth quickly, but Chakotay gave her a questioning look. "What were you ladies talking about?"

Emma smiled, pushing a glass of water towards Chakotay, "Oh just Voyager gossip. Kathryn was telling me about some of your adventures in the Delta quadrant." Chakotay didn't miss the way Kathryn's cheeks pinked a bit but decided to leave it alone.

Soon the waiter came over and took their orders, and before long they were elbows deep in taco salads, burritos and quesadillas, talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company. Kathryn mostly sat quiet, listening to Emma and Chakotay banter back and forth, reminiscing about old times and discussing some of the lighter topics and events of Voyager's seven year journey. Kathryn chimed in when it was necessary or when she had something to add to a story.

Before she knew it, the meal was complete and they were back in Emma's truck, heading out of town and towards the lake where they would be spending the foreseeable future. Kathryn felt butterflies in her stomach again as she thought about it but was eager to see where they would be staying. She was very much looking forward to spending time with Chakotay, and now, with Emma as well.


	4. Chapter 4

HUGE thank you to jemabean for looking this over and letting me know that it's okay. You're the best. I hope you all like this next installment! :)

The drive to Emma's house was a short one; less than ten minutes, but Kathryn was able to see most of the tiny city of Whitefalls and the surrounding lakeshore community. Their drive took them through downtown, and a number of families walked with their children down the sidewalks. Several waved at Emma, who greeted them with a smile and a wave of her own.

Finally the road wound out of town, and dead ended into a small, nearly one lane road that snaked along the lakeshore of Whitefalls Lake. Kathryn watched as a fairly large marina passed by on their right, though nearly all of the boats were already wrapped and hoisted out of the water for winter storage. Several smaller vessels were tied up along the docks, and Kathryn had the sudden urge to sail out into the middle of the lake, drop anchor and spend the day on the water, reading a book. She didn't know if Emma had access to any kind of water craft, but she figured she had plenty of time to find out.

The road wound slightly away from the shoreline to make room for a small roadside park with several pieces of playground equipment, firepits and small charcoal grills. Several children chased each other around the intricate jungle gym, and on a bench nearby sat several young men engrossed in a conversation. Emma surprised Kathryn and Chakotay by pulling the car over and rolling down Chakotay's window. "Hey Johnny! How are you feeling? Back from the dead, I see."

A young man with blonde hair looked up from his conversation and waved towards them. "Hey Emma; yeah I'm doing much better." Emma leaned over Chakotay to talk, and he grinned, placing a hand on her shoulder to support her.

"Good, then I'll see you Saturday." The man chuckled, giving her another wave.

"Yep, see you Saturday." Johnny grinned at her again before turning back to his conversation. Emma chuckled to herself, leaning back into her seat as she rolled up the window and continued their drive. Kathryn turned to watch the men as they pulled away. "What's going on Saturday?" Chakotay asked the question that Kathryn also wondered the answer to.

"Oh, it's our weekly farmer's market in town. Johnny usually helps me set up everything at our booth, but he's had the flu for over a week. This is the first time I've seen him out and about since he got sick. I wasn't able to bring as much as I normally do to the market last week because I use his truck and trailer to transport a lot of my stuff."

"We'd be glad to help you if you need it, Emma," Kathryn spoke up, hoping it was alright that she speak for Chakotay as well.

"I just might take you up on that, Kathryn, thanks. We'll see how Johnny's feeling though. He might be all the help I need. You two could still come down to the market though. It really is a lot of fun seeing everything that everyone brings. You never know what you'll find down there."

Emma's truck followed the narrow road under an old railroad bridge, along the shoreline so close Kathryn could see stones underwater along the shore, and finally uphill towards a more populated area.

Emma slowed down her truck just as the road curved and pulled into the driveway of a lovely pale blue cottage. Kathryn's heart skipped a beat at the absolute perfection of it. The curve of the road and the trees on both sides gave the small house almost complete privacy from the neighbors on both sides, and from the road. The gravel driveway was short and narrow; barely enough room for Emma to pull off the road, but she parked neatly just in front of the small porch. Killing the engine, she hopped out, moving towards the back to open the hatch and retrieve their luggage. Chakotay opened Kathryn's door again, taking her hand to help her out of the truck. She marveled at the fact that once she was on her feet, he didn't let go of her hand, leading her gently towards the back of the vehicle. Emma noticed and smiled to herself, slinging Kathryn's messenger bag over her own shoulder, but leaving the rest for Chakotay to carry. Chakotay let go of Kathryn's hand to pick up his own duffel bag and take the handle of her suitcase, but took her hand again as they followed Emma towards the house.

Kathryn glanced at Chakotay but he just looked at her and smiled before turning back to climb the steps of the porch. Emma reached the top and opened the door. "Welcome home, you two." Chakotay let go of Kathryn's hand to move it to the small of her back as she moved in front of him through the front door.

"Emma, this house is absolutely beautiful." Kathryn's eyes took in the main living and dining area. Though the house was small, the main room was large and open and Kathryn could see through the sliding door at the opposite wall that opened to a large deck that overlooked the lake. Stairs off to her right led up to the second floor, and to her left was a large fireplace and cozy looking sitting area. Bookshelves adorned the south and east walls and were crammed full of actual books. Kathryn felt a sudden urge to curl up next to the fireplace on that sofa with an afghan, a glass of wine and a book. She smiled as she took in the rest of her surroundings.

"Emma, you've done amazing work on this place. I barely recognize it from the last time I was here."

"Well, to be fair, brother, that was forever and a day ago. I've had some time to do it, and lots of helpers." Emma handed Kathryn her messenger bag, then headed into the dining area, moving to crack open the sliding door to let some fresh air in. "This community has really become a second family since I've put down roots here. I've been very lucky."

"I'm glad for you, Emma. I'm so glad you've made a life for yourself here." Emma grinned.

"Well, let me show you two your rooms. Onward and upward." She motioned for them to follow her upstairs. "So there are two bedrooms up here and each has its own bathroom. Kathryn, I hear you enjoy a bath, so I think you should take the blue room. The bedroom is a bit smaller, but the bathroom has an amazing clawfoot bathtub that I've often thought about moving into my house." Kathryn's eyebrows shot up, looking from Chakotay, who tugged on his ear, to Emma who just beamed.

"And how do you know that I like a bath?" She looked at Chakotay again who chuckled nervously.

"Oh, you know," she glanced at Chakotay as well, "But it's true, isn't it?" Emma didn't seem to have any compunction in speaking of it.

"Yes, it is true. And it sounds amazing. Lead on." Kathryn motioned for Emma to show her the blue room and Emma moved towards the landing. The stairs ended and a small hallway led to the left, open on one side and looking down over the living area. Two doors stood on the opposite wall and Emma moved towards the one on the right. Opening the door, she led them inside.

"Well, here you are, Kathryn." Emma moved to crack her slider open as well. "It can get a bit stuffy in the upstairs rooms, so feel free to open or close whichever doors and windows you want. There's a small furnace under the house, but I mostly heat with the fireplace downstairs. There's plenty of wood behind the house and kindling. The bathroom's just over there," she pointed to a closed door on their right.

Kathryn took in the lovely room. It was indeed small, but cozy and just what she'd expected from a beach cottage. The walls were painted a cornflower blue and the floors were a pale wood plank. The king sized bed that rested against the wall was made up in grey and pale blue bedding and looked out the glass sliding doors over another deck that also overlooked the lake. "This is beautiful, Emma. Thank you."

"Not at all." Chakotay set Kathryn's suitcase up on the bed, grinning at her as they exited to go over to Chakotay's room next.

"Here you are brother, you get the grey room." Kathryn stepped in after Chakotay as he dropped his duffel down on the matching king sized bed, though his was made up in bedding of greys and greens. His bathroom was off to the left and he also had a door that led to the back deck. From this vantage point she could see several lounge chairs on the deck and a firepit in the grass below beyond the back deck.

"This is great, Emma, thanks so much for having us," Chakotay grinned at his friend, and Kathryn nodded in agreement.

"Are you kidding, it's totally my pleasure. You both are welcome to stay as long as you want, and whenever you want." She glanced at her wristwatch, "I do have to get going though, I have some work to catch up on at the farm." She moved to give Chakotay another hug, then came over to hug Kathryn. "Listen, dinner is at six at my place. Head on over whenever. It's the gravel driveway just across the street."

"Emma, you don't need to cook for us," Kathryn quipped, but Emma put up her hand.

"Nope, I won't hear it. You are guests at the inn, and as the innkeeper, it's my duty," she smiled, "Besides, it's not often I get to cook for more than just me. I'm looking forward to it." She headed for the door, "You guys settle in and make yourselves at home. There's a communicator in the living room that's set to my house. Comm me if you need anything, otherwise I'll see you for dinner. Come early if you want and I can give you a tour of the place."

Emma left Chakotay's room and headed downstairs. As soon as they were alone, Kathryn suddenly felt awkward at being by herself in Chakotay's bedroom. She took a breath and held it, suddenly not sure what to do or what to say. Finally she settled on something safe.

"I'm just going to go back to my room and unpack." She turned to go but his fingers on her arm stopped her in her tracks. Her heart fluttered as she turned back to meet those brown eyes that she knew so well. Today they held something in them that she couldn't read, but the emotion there set her heart beating a bit faster.

"I'm really glad you're here, Kathryn." His voice was soft and warm and his smile matched. She couldn't help the smile that pulled her own lips.

"Me too."

=/\=

Kathryn was just tucking the last of her underwear and socks into the top drawer of the dresser in her bedroom when there was a soft knock on the open door. She turned to see Chakotay standing there, watching her. She wasn't sure how long he'd been there, observing her, but the contented look on his face told her it had been at least a few moments. She smiled, pushing the dresser drawer shut. "Come in." He crossed the threshold at her invitation and moved to stand in front of the slider door that Kathryn had opened the rest of the way. She watched him silently as he took a long, deep breath, then turned to face her.

"Can we talk?" She felt her heart rate pick up exponentially at those loaded words, yet she nodded absently, frozen in place in front of the bureau. Chakotay sat down on her bed, reaching his hand out in invitation. She watched as her own hand reached for his as she had done countless times on Voyager; the warmth of his touch instantly calming and exciting her. She sat down next to him, not able to meet his gaze. "Kathryn, I can't tell you how much I've missed you these last few months."

Her gaze shot up to his, knowing her confusion was plain there. She was desperate to know what happened between him and Seven; though she knew they weren't together, she didn't understand why or when they ended things, and what events led to now; she and Chakotay on holiday together. She wasn't sure why it was important, but it was, and it felt like he was going to talk about it now.

"I've missed you too," it came out as a suddenly sad whisper, and she wished her emotions weren't so evident in her voice.

Chakotay's hand came up to rest against her cheek and Kathryn's eyes fell shut, a lone tear escaping to track down her cheek until Chakotay brushed it away with his thumb. "Kathryn, I'm so sorry."

She wasn't sure what he was apologizing for, but the pain in his words caused her eyes to open again. She was about to ask him what he was talking about, but he continued on.

"I promised to be there for you, no matter what, and I failed you." Kathryn raised her hand to cover his.

"Chakotay…"

"No, please let me finish." he brushed his thumb across her cheekbone. "I promised you that I would be there to take your burdens on, to lighten your load, and when you had the veritable weight of Voyager's future on your shoulders, I wasn't there. It was a punishment for Atlas, holding up the weight of the world, and it became a punishment for you, because I failed you. I should have been by your side in the end, but I wasn't." He took a deep breath and continued.

"We should have exited Voyager side by side, but we didn't. I can't tell you how sorry I am for that, and I wish more than anything I could get that moment back." She saw tears of emotion start to form in his own eyes, and she was desperate for more details, but knew that it would come when he was ready. "I'm just so sorry."

"Chakotay, if anyone is to blame for the end, it's me. Well, the older Admiral Janeway actually." Chakotay looked confused but he allowed Kathryn to continue. "She told me that Seven was going to die, and that her...husband," she nearly choked on the word, "would never be the same...that I would never be the same." Chakotay's eyes went wide. "I wasn't going to follow the Admiral's plan. I had no intention of following her plan...until she told me that."

"Who did Seven marry?" She saw trepidation in Chakotay's face and she didn't know until this moment that they were going to have this conversation today, but now that they were, she wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible.

"You, Chakotay. You and Seven were married. She was injured on an away mission and made it back to Voyager to die in your arms." Kathryn pressed her eyes shut as her chin dropped to her chest, a quiet sob escaped her before she could stop it. Chakotay's hands moved to take hers, giving them a squeeze of encouragement to continue. She took a deep wavering breath and let it out shakily. "And knowing that you loved her made me reevaluate our friendship. I wanted you to realize that I didn't hold you to your promise anymore, so I took a step back. I didn't want to stand in the way of your happiness." She let out a defeated sigh, "We never really had an understanding, and I realized that our friendship had become more to me than it had to you, and I didn't want you to have to be the one to back away first. In that way I was trying to make _your_ burden lighter." She chuckled out another soft sob as she wiped her tears away, but continued.

"The thought of losing Seven saddened me greatly. But the thought of the heartbreak that you would have faced losing the woman you love completely devastated me. I couldn't bear the thought of the hurt you would have felt. So _that's_ why I listened to the Admiral." She met his eyes again. "I did it for you."

The words came out in the softest whisper and Chakotay had to focus on them to realize that she'd actually said it.

"Oh, Kathryn," his own words shuddered out, "we didn't deserve you. None of us on Voyager deserved to have you as our Captain." he pressed his forehead to hers for a moment, reveling in the warmth and the feel of her skin against his. "I didn't lose the woman I love. The woman I love is-" he paused, realizing he might be revealing too much, "not Seven."

Kathryn pulled back, her eyes wide and questioning, her heart pounding. "But I thought-" the Admiral had told her what had happened.

"I don't know what happened in the other Admiral's timeline, but I don't love Seven. I never did." His hands came up to frame her face. "That's a long story that I'm not really in the mood to tell right now, but I can promise you that I don't love Seven." His fingers pressed gently against the back of her neck, working on the muscles that felt incredibly tense beneath his touch. "And our friendship does _not_ mean more to you than it does to me."

Her eyes met and held his as she searched for the truth...and she found it, as she always did in those warm brown eyes. He was telling her the truth, and though she could tell that there was more there, in this moment, she had all she needed.

Her brow furrowed as a smile finally pulled her lips up, lighting up her eyes as several more tears spilled. "Chakotay, I'm so sorry I pulled away. I thought I was doing what you wanted...what you needed."

"And I'm sorry that I didn't explain everything right away. When you distanced yourself I thought...I don't know. I just thought that now that we were home...you didn't need me anymore. So I stayed away to give you space."

She let out a self deprecating laugh, "Oh, aren't we just a pair?" The emotion roughened her voice, but the smile remained. "We should know by now that we work best when we talk to each other. Just because we're not on Voyager anymore doesn't change that."

"Agreed," a smile tugged his own dimples into his cheeks, the emotion still fresh in his eyes as his own tears threatened to fall. "From now on, no more worrying about the past...or the future."

Kathryn grinned. "Someone once told me that I can't sacrifice the present for a future that might never happen. Wise words...I should have followed that advice more often." Chakotay's smile grew as he remembered the words he'd spoken to Kathryn all those years ago on New Earth. She chuckled, feeling lighter than she had since their arrival back from the Delta quadrant.

"Well then, let's take this vacation as a time to spend living in the present, not worrying about the past, and not worrying about the future. I think we both could use that right about now, don't you?" She nodded, cradling his face with her palm, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his cheek.

"Yes. I think that sounds perfect." Suddenly the future seemed a bit brighter and Kathryn couldn't help the relieved laugh that escaped her lips, and laughed again when Chakotay reacted the same way. They still had things to talk about, and she wasn't exactly sure where they stood with their relationship, but she was selfishly elated knowing that there hadn't been anything between Chakotay and Seven, and was very much looking forward to this extended vacation with Chakotay now.

Things weren't quite back to normal yet, but she was sure that together, they would find it.


	5. Chapter 5

Kathryn and Chakotay decided to head over to Emma's house early, to have a look around and to see if she needed help with anything, be it chores or help preparing dinner.

Kathryn was quietly elated when, yet again, Chakotay took her hand as they began walking, lacing his fingers with hers. It seemed such a normal thing to do, and she found comfort in the simple but meaningful embrace. Chakotay grinned to himself that she was okay with this level of closeness. They both understood that many things still needed to be said, but now was not the time. Now was the time to simply enjoy the small act of intimacy.

They walked across the street and proceeded down the gravel driveway. After about one hundred meters it curved to the left, and then again to the right, keeping the actual house completely hidden from the road.

Kathryn was amazed at how different the terrain and landscape were on this side of the road. You would never know that their own accomodations rested on the shore of Whitefalls Lake. This side of the road was completely wooded and the driveway sloped ever so gently uphill.

One last curve to the left and the house and yard came into view.

A small pale blue house sat in the middle of a large clearing. The yard was comprised of an abundance of wildflowers, and though their season was over, it was still beautiful. Kathryn wished she could have seen it in all its glory during the summer.

A large garden was situated to the right of the house and a dozen or more chickens scratched happily through the trees surrounding the edge of the garden. A large orange and brown rooster lifted his head and made a noise as Kathryn and Chakotay's approached, watched them for a moment, and then went back to scratching.

Off to the side of the driveway were several small structures; perhaps three feet tall and two feet wide and deep. They were painted a sunshine yellow and were set up on cement blocks. She recognized them from her childhood on the farm, but hadn't seen one in years.

"Are those beehives?" Chakotay grinned and nodded.

"Yes. Emma has kept bees for as long as I can remember. If you like non-replicated honey, you're in for a treat."

"I haven't had real honey in years. Probably since I was a child." Kathryn watched as flurries of bees came and went from the hives, taking off to glean whatever nectar sources were left this late in the season.

They watched the chickens for a moment; one of the hens pulled a long worm out of the ground and immediately took off running with it, several other hens and even the rooster chasing after her prize. Chakotay chuckled at the spectacle. Kathryn had grown up near several small chicken farms and was well aware of their antics. She smiled, watching the small birds enjoying themselves.

"Oh, look at that garden," Kathryn commented as they walked towards the gate to look inside. Chakotay let go of her hand to move his to the small of her back, ushering her inside ahead of him. They walked amongst stalks of corn and tomato plants that were past their prime. Half a dozen or so large orange pumpkins grew fat and happy in the middle of the garden, and morning glories vined their way around the entirety of the garden fence, their blue and white blossoms open happily in the sun. "It's beautiful"

"Emma takes pride in her garden, and it shows." Chakotay felt his own pride at his old friend's accomplishments.

"It certainly does."

They meandered around the edge of the garden and back towards the gate when a dog began barking near the house. Kathryn and Chakotay both looked up at the sound, watching as a reddish golden dog came streaking across the yard towards them.

"Jake!" They heard Emma yell from the house. Jake, a dark red golden retriever came barreling through the open fence, his whole body wiggling excitedly as he came up to Chakotay and Kathryn. Kathryn crouched down to pet their new friend.

"Hello, Jake. Aren't you a handsome fella?" The dog pressed up against her knees, nearly knocking her over in his attempt to get closer to her. She chuckled as she felt Chakotay's hand come down on her shoulder to keep her upright. "Oh, I miss having a dog." She whispered to the wiggling body of fur in front of her. Chakotay heard the longing in her voice, knowing how much she had missed Molly during their voyage.

"Hey, you two. I'm so sorry about him. I forgot to warn you." Emma came into the garden, "I hope you don't mind dogs."

Kathryn smiled as she stood up, "Not at all, I used to have a dog before our journey. I'd love to have one again." She leaned down and ruffled Jake's ears. He leaned up against her legs, enjoying the new company.

"Well," Emma grinned, motioning them towards the gate, "Let me show you around a bit."

=/\=

The tour of the property and the dinner itself were wonderful. They ate and laughed and visited until Emma had to go out to finish her evening chores. Kathryn and Chakotay walked back to their house on the lake that evening stuffed to the gills and pleasantly sleepy. Chakotay, instead of taking Kathryn's hand, put his arm around her shoulder, and she leaned into him gently as they walked down the driveway in the moonlight. After a while she silently wrapped her arm around his middle. Chakotay smiled to himself as he pulled her a bit closer. He wanted to do more, but knew they weren't there yet.

They crossed the street silently and headed back into their little home away from home. The sun hung low on the horizon and Chakotay could tell they had just over an hour before it would set. Kathryn moved to the sliding glass door, looking out at the water. She hummed softly to herself at the serenity of the waves lapping gently along the shore below them, hearing the water gliding over the sand through the open slider door. She turns to see Chakotay watching her, a look in his eyes that spoke of both friendship and more. She was desperate for it but unprepared to receive it. "I think I'm going to take a bath. Join me on the deck after for a drink?" Her voice came out much more sultry than she planned, but Chakotay nodded.

"That sounds nice. I'll find something. Enjoy your bath."

"I always do," she called over her shoulder as she made her way up the stairs.

Chakotay busied himself in the kitchen, giving her plenty of time to get situated in the bath before he went upstairs. Even though they had separate rooms and separate bathrooms, he felt like he was invading her privacy by going upstairs.

He found a bottle of wine in the pantry and opened it, giving it time to breathe before they enjoyed it.

In the silence of the kitchen he thought back over the last two days...the last few months since he had last seen and spent time with Kathryn.

He missed her terribly. It wasn't until the night before when he'd met her at Sandrine's and then this morning when he'd seen her enter the transport station that he really felt like he could breathe again.

He wasn't sure how he could make things right between them; his fling with Seven felt like a betrayal now, after their talk earlier, though at the time it had felt blissfully defiant. Not necessarily defiant against Kathryn, but against life itself...a change to the status quo that he felt he desperately needed at the time. Looking back now he wished he could kick himself for his idiocy. The second best thing, however, was the vacation he now found himself on with the woman that he loved. He only hoped that he hadn't lost her in the months since they'd come back.

He knew it wasn't a completely lost cause since she had agreed to come on this trip with him...she was definitely meeting him half way, and, with a silent prayer to the spirits that he would be able to mend whatever fences were broken between them, he picked up the wine bottle and two glasses and headed upstairs.

He entered his own bedroom and cracked the slider door open to the deck that their rooms shared. There was a small portable fire pit in the middle and kindling and firewood on the deck as well. Setting the wine and glasses down on the small table between the two adirondak chairs on the deck he began breaking up the kindling into pieces that would fit into the firepit. After that he arranged larger pieces above, then looked around until he found a small box with matches and a few lighters. Marveling at the primitive firemaking tools, he took the box of matches out and struck one on the box, smiling to himself when it scratched to life, a whiff of sulfur hitting his nostrils as the flame licked up off the match head.

He held the match down to the kindling, proud of himself when when it began to burn, the flames licking higher until the larger pieces of wood caught fire. He smiled, wishing Kathryn was out here to witness this. He may not be able to start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but he didn't need her hair or a phaser to start one either.

As the fire grew he added a few more pieces of wood until it snapped and popped happily, warming the space around the two chairs. The evening air was cooling significantly, and Chakotay went back into his room to change into a thicker, dark grey sweater. When he went back out onto the back deck he heard music. It wasn't loud but it was close, and he realized that Kathryn's slider door was still cracked open from earlier, and soft jazz was coming from her room. He didn't realize that there was a music player in that room, but sure enough he heard it. He walked past the door to the other side of the deck where more wood was piled up and happened to glance in the room.

The image before him took his breath away.

The lights were on and the bathroom door was wide open. Kathryn was facing away from him, just lowering herself into the bath water. Her hair was twisted up in a clip to keep it dry, and he had an unrestricted view of her naked back. He could see each vertebrae, like pearls underneath the skin of her back and as she reached for the edge of tub to support her as she submerged in the water. He watched her shoulder blades slide under her trapezius muscles like wings as they flexed. As she grasped the edge of the tub, the swell of her breast barely came into view, causing Chakotay to suck in a breath through pursed lips. Closing his eyes and backing away from the door, he left her to her privacy, equally embarrassed and enraptured by what he had seen.

Memories of New Earth flooded him in that moment, remembering the one time he had seen her in almost the same way, when she'd called out to him the first time their primate had shown up.

He remembered her then, bathed in the moonlight and dripping with water and soap suds, the only thing between them was that blue terry cloth towel and the night. That was the first night he realized that he loved her, his feelings consecrated a few days later in an ancient legend of an angry warrior who finally found peace.

That love had never waned and he knew now that it never would. It had only grown over time. He had remembered his father telling him that every person was created to be the equal of another, the perfect half of a perfect pairing. Chakotay knew now, as his heart fluttered at the thought of the woman in the next room, that he'd found his equal. He'd felt it years ago, and he knew it now in his heart. The spirits had created Kathryn Janeway to be his other half. Their relationship had ebbed and flowed over the last seven odd years, but fate had brought them back together, again and again, and Chakotay knew that this was the time they had both been waiting for.

Sitting down in one of the deck chairs, he took a deep, cleansing breath and let it out slowly, feeling more at peace than he had in the last several months...probably since the last time that he sat on the bridge of Voyager with Kathryn by his side. It was so simple to see now, he almost laughed.

He only had to find a way to tell her. Show her how much he loved and adored her...and hope to the spirits that she felt the same.


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Hey friends...I thought I'd have more updates before Christmas, but that didn't happen. Seems like everyone wanted this story updated again before Christmas, so here you go. I really hope you enjoy this one...I really enjoyed writing it. Please enjoy and I hope you all have a VERY Merry Christmas!

=/\=

Kathryn let out a sigh as she dropped into the bath. The water was hot and the tub deep, and she immersed herself almost up to her chin, closing her eyes as the heat enveloped her. She had had so much fun today, touring around Emma's house, meeting several of the farm hands that helped out there, spending the day with Chakotay, listening as he and Emma caught up...but now that she was alone with her thoughts, she felt butterflies awaken in her stomach.

Today had been wonderful; from the moment she entered the transport station in Alameda and his eyes landed on her, everything felt right. She was comforted by his hand at her back as they walked. She thrilled at the feeling of his fingers laced with hers. He opened her car door for her, carried her luggage for her...he invited her on an extended vacation with him. And he wasn't in love with Seven.

She had no idea what had happened in the other Admiral's timeline, but in her own, Chakotay was not married to Seven. He was single...and on vacation with Kathryn.

She recognized the look on his face when they got back to their beach house from Emma's farm. It was the same look he'd had on his face on New Earth when he'd told her of the Angry Warrior who found peace in serving the brave and beautiful Woman Warrior. She smiled to herself, remembering his words as if he'd spoken them yesterday. He had vowed to always be by her side...and she had forced him away. With her own stubborn and pigheadedness, she had forced him away from her side.

This was her opportunity to make up for that; Chakotay had as much as told her that his place was by her side. He had lived that truth for the better half of a decade, and if that wasn't love and dedication, she didn't know what was. Though they had never come right out and shared their feelings openly, hadn't they done so in gesture and faith for years?

Suddenly the bathtub wasn't where she wanted to be. She wanted to be wherever Chakotay was, and right now he was probably sitting out on the back deck alone. She used the lavender soap that was already in the bathroom to quickly wash, and got out of the tub, drying off with one of the fluffy blue towels that Emma had provided.

She listened as Frank Sinatra crooned gently over the music player and she wrapped the towel around herself, feeling a chill from the cool air of the open door. Realizing that Chakotay was mere feet away and she wore nothing but a towel sent the butterflies flurrying around again. She pulled a fuzzy and very soft white sweater from her luggage and slipped it over her head. Not feeling like putting her bra back on, she pressed her lips together in a bashful smile to herself as she pulled on clean panties and a pair of black leggings. Pulling her flats back on she headed for the door.

The sliding door opened smoothly and silently, and Kathryn got a glimpse of the fire Chakotay had built, and the man himself leaning casually against the deck railing watching the sun setting over the lake. He looked so comfortable here, his gaze cast over the water as it reflected the golden and crimson shards of light from the sun sliding lower and lower. The air was chilly but the fire had created a cocoon of warmth for the two of them, and Kathryn knew there was no where else in the world she would rather be, and so she went to him.

He sensed her just a split second before she came to stand beside him; the light press of her shoulder against his arm letting him know that she's there. He tipped his head down to regard her as she looked out over the water. "That was a short bath. You used to spend much longer than that in the bath on New Earth," he joked gently at her.

She turned to look up at him, her blue eyes reflecting golden facets of sunlight, "I know. I just decided there was somewhere else I wanted to be."

He saw the truth in her eyes, and felt his heart soar, "Oh, Kathryn…" Just as he opened his arms to her, she was already there, pressing herself against him, her cheek laying gently against his heart beat. His arms came around her, pulling her to him.

He marveled at the woman in his arms; completely beautiful inside and out...a raw beauty that took his breath away when she was near and made him crave her when she wasn't. He let his fingers slide up and down her back, marveling at the soft fabric of her sweater, and the heat of her skin beneath it. She looked the epitome of comfortable in the outfit she had chosen, and he smiled knowing that he got to experience her like this.

He pulled her tighter, swaying ever so slightly to the music still coming from her room as her body heat mingled with his in the cool evening air. He took a deep breath, the scent of lavender filling his lungs and calming his very soul. It was purely her.

He felt her arms tighten around him and felt her demeanor change. "What is it?" He whispered into her hair as he closed his eyes, using his other senses to take in this moment.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm just really glad you're here," she whispered into the night, barely loud enough for him to hear. There was a quality of vulnerability to her voice that he'd very rarely heard there, and he knew what it cost her to reveal that...even to him.

"I know. I'm glad that you're here too, Kathryn." He rested his chin on the top of her head, cradling this precious gift of her in his arms. "More than you know."

She leaned back finally to look upon his face. He saw a mix of emotions shimmering in those crystal blue eyes, but the smile on her face told him all he needed to know. He turned briefly to pick up the glasses of wine, handing one to her. Kathryn wiped her eyes quickly while his back was turned and took the offered glass with a contented smile.

"To finding 'normal' again," Chakotay held up his glass in a toast.

"To finding 'us' again." She finished. Chakotay's dimples pressed deeply in his cheeks as he tapped his wine glass gently against hers. They both took a sip.

Kathryn closed her eyes, letting the velvety liquid play over her tongue. It was a sweeter red than she was used to, but since Chakotay chose it, that didn't surprise her. Smiling softly she finally swallowed and opened her eyes again. "I'm really glad you invited me with you, Chakotay."

Chakotay leaned against the railing with his hip, still facing Kathryn as he took another sip of wine. "I'm glad you decided to join me."

She nodded in silent agreement then turned to look over at the water. The sun had nearly slipped out of sight, casting deep orange and purple streaks up from where the lake met the sky at the edge of the horizon. Chakotay glanced at Kathryn out of the corner of his eye, loving the way the light played across her skin.

They spoke very little, watching the sun set and the water lap at the shore below. Chakotay finished his wine and turned to set his glass back down on the table. Kathryn still faced the water and when he came back up to her, he stood behind her, pressing his front to her back and rested his hands on either side of hers on the railing. He heard the softest of contented sighs sound in the back of her throat as his heat enveloped her. He couldn't see it, but she closed her eyes at the feel of him, solid and secure behind and around her, a soft smile playing at the corners of her lips.

She took another sip of her wine, enjoying the warmth of the alcohol and that of his solid frame behind her, yet she shivered when she felt his fingers play against the soft fabric of the sleeve of her sweater. He almost absently caressed the length of her forearm, running the tips of his fingers up and down the fuzzy material beneath his touch. She hummed softly in her throat, but shivered again when a cool breeze came off the lake and played across her skin. He chuckled softly behind her. "Come on, come back closer to the fire."

She turned silently and complied, setting her own nearly empty glass down on the table. He sat down and turned to face her chair, but was surprised when she came to him, sitting down in his lap instead of in the chair beside him. They both remained silent as she adjusted to get comfortable, turning sideways and pulling her knees up, her legs resting over his and her cheek pressed once again against his heart beat. Her left hand rested against his chest and her right arm went behind him, holding gently onto the fabric of his sweater. His arms came around her to cradle her to him, one hand resting on her shoulder and the other resting gently on her hip.

The hand on her hip moved slowly, tentatively, down her thigh as far as he could reach and then back up, his fingers brushing gently under the hem of her sweater, feeling the warmth of her bare skin there. She hummed low in her throat and Chakotay felt the soft vibration of it against his chest. Smiling to himself, he squeezed her closer, thanking the spirits at her willingness to give herself over to him; trusting him so completely.

"I love you," she whispered out on a sigh, closing her eyes to the night, reveling in everything that was him; his warmth beneath her, his arms around her and his breath playing against her hair.

Chakotay's chest tightened as every dream and desire of his entire life came to fruition with those three softly spoken words. He exhaled seven years worth of waiting and hoping and preparing for letdowns in a wavering sigh, "Oh, Kathryn. I've been waiting so long to hear you say that." He pulled her tighter to him, his entire world in his arms, "I love you too...so much."

With their declarations spoken, words were suddenly rendered moot. Kathryn leaned back to see Chakotay's face, glowing from the light of the fire; his eyes reflecting the copper flickers from the flames in front of them. The look of adoration and completion on his face nearly made her heart stop.

She closed her eyes, leaning forward gently, trusting Chakotay as she always did. She felt every nerve ending in her body light up when the warmth of his lips pressed against hers. The kiss was tentative, but with no less passion than she'd expected. She felt his breath play across her skin as he breathed out a sigh through his nose, his bottom lip quivering against hers as his hand slid up under her sweater. A moan sounded in the back of his throat when his fingers moved higher, finding nothing but the bare skin of her back.

She felt electricity flood her system in a rush as seven years worth of pent up emotions came flowing freely through her entire being. Her hands came up to frame his face as his tongue slid between his lips to move against her mouth.

Kathryn gasped, pulling away to take a breath, her heart hammering in her chest as need and want and reality hit her like a force.

"I'm sorry, Kathryn," he nearly panted the words, "I got carried away." His cheeks pinked slightly and he reached for his earlobe, but her hand caught his, lacing her fingers between his.

"No," she chuckled out on an exhalation as she fought to catch her breath, pressing her lips to his again quickly to let him know he hadn't done anything wrong, "I did too." She grinned that lopsided grin at him.

"We have time," he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead, "I was very much enjoying just holding you." She smiled adoringly at him, pressing another gentle kiss to his lips before snuggling back into his embrace, the freeing notion of _finally _having shared their feelings, consecrating their love and their future in a kiss, she now revelled in the fact that she could lay in his embrace, as she had ached to do for years. She chuckled out a sob as she pulled him as tight as she could. "Hey, don't cry," his voice came out in a whisper as his hand still stroked up and down the skin of her back under her sweater.

"I'm not," her voice cracked, contradicting her statement, but her chuckle calmed his nerves, "Okay, I am," her voice was soft, almost shy, "It's just such a relief to finally be able to tell you how I feel, and know that you feel the same way." She nuzzled her cheek into his chest, her tears sliding into the material of his sweater.

"Kathryn, I have loved you for so long I don't remember a time when I didn't love you." He pressed a kiss into her hair, inhaling deeply to take her all in. "You are my everything, and have been since almost the first moment I met you."

Kathryn chuckled, smiling into the night, "You had a phaser pointed at me the moment we met."

It was Chakotay's turn to chuckle as he remembered back, "Yes, I remember. I remember thinking that this tiny little woman Captain was no threat, but then you stepped in front of me when I was going to hit Tom, and I could tell immediately that you were a force to be reckoned with." She chuckled, squeezing him tighter at the memory. "That's when I knew that somehow, you would be an important part of my life." She made a soft sound of agreement.

They were silent then for several moments while completely revelled in the moment of being in love and being together. Kathryn smiled at the warmth of Chakotay's hand on her back as it still moved up and down, lulling her into half-sleep.

Chakotay could feel her breathing evening out, knowing that she was drifting off. There were so many things he still wanted to say to her, so many things he wanted to _do_ with her, but knowing now that they had an entire future together to explore it all, he was perfectly content in this moment to just hold her. And hold her he did. His hand on her back finally stilled, lifting her gently so he was holding up her weight instead of her resting on the arm of the chair. His free hand traveled up and down her arm, still amazed that he was allowed to touch her this way. Brave, bold, beautiful Kathryn Janeway was nestled and sleeping in his arms. He marveled at the fact that the woman warrior had finally found peace in the angry warrior, just as he had in her years before.

Long after she had fully fallen asleep the fire began to die in the grate in front of him. Though her body kept him plenty warm, he could feel the cold air wherever his skin wasn't covered by clothing or by Kathryn. Not wanting her to wake up in the cold, he decided to take her inside. As gently as he could he slid his free hand under her knees, lifting her easily as he moved to stand up. Her weight was an easy burden to bear as he moved towards her sliding door. Pulling it open gently he carried her inside. She had thankfully already turned down the bed so he lay her down gently on the mattress. After pulling off her shoes and unclipping her hair, he pressed a kiss to her forehead and whispered words of love before pulling the blankets up and over her, closing the slider gently behind him as he exited.

=/\=

Kathryn woke up and was momentarily disoriented, not remembering where she was. She sat up, rubbing her eyes in the darkness before realization hit her. She smiled sleepily as it dawned on her that Chakotay had put her to bed when she'd fallen asleep in his arms. The warm feelings that engulfed her entire being since telling Chakotay that she loved him, and hearing him reciprocate the sentiment hadn't left her, but she was slightly disheartened to wake up alone. She pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering with a thrill, the feel of his mouth against hers. She had only just experienced the feel of her body pressed against his, but already she missed it, craving the closeness and the warmth of him.

Getting out of bed, she flipped on the small bedside lamp, noting by the clock there that it was just past two in the morning. She traded her sweater for a long sleeved, pale blue thermal shirt and her leggings for a pair of grey shorts. She brushed her teeth quickly before turning off the light in her room as she exited, padding quietly down the hall.

Chakotay's bedroom door was cracked open, and she took it as a silent invitation to enter. The bathroom light was on, but the door was almost completely shut so only a sliver of light cast through the room, just enough to see by.

Chakotay lay on his back in slumber; one arm behind his head and the other rested on his abdomen. He was only covered to just past his waist and Kathryn could see that his chest was bare. Hating to wake him, but needing to hear his voice, she rested her palm gently against his cheek, "Chakotay," she whispered.

His eyes fluttered open immediately, concern painting his features and his eyes sought hers in the darkness. "Kathryn?" His hand came to rest over hers on his cheek, "What's wrong?"

Kathryn smiled sheepishly, "I woke up alone, and I missed you."

Chakotay grinned, his dimples flashing her softly, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to wake you to ask about sleeping arrangements, and I didn't want to assume anything..." Her heart swelled at his thoughtfulness even as she wanted to chide him gently for leaving her alone.

"You have nothing to apologize for, but I wondered, if you don't mind," she glanced down at the bed, "May I?"

Chakotay grinned and nodded, moving over in the bed to make room for her. She lifted up the blankets to slide in beside him, sighing contentedly as his body heat engulfed her under the sheet and quilts.

She moaned contentedly as he moved up to her, spooning her from behind; one arm sliding under her pillow and the other coming around her body, pulling her tightly against him. His warmth and the scent of him surrounding her made her feel drowsy and contented. He leaned forward to press a kiss to the shell of her ear.

"I love you so much, Kathryn." He let out a sigh as his knees came up behind hers. She shifted her ankle so their legs twined together under the covers.

"I love you, too."

They lay together in the quiet of the night, both still tired but not wanting to fall off to sleep and miss a moment of this togetherness that had been denied them for so long. Kathryn let her fingers play over the skin of his hand and wrist, and Chakotay kept leaning forward to nuzzle kisses into her hair, behind her ear and where he could reach on her neck, adoring the contented sighs that escaped her lips. Finally though, exhaustion won out once again, and in the darkness together, they slept.


	7. Chapter 7

Chakotay woke up feeling warm and content and a bit confused at the weight in his arms and the heat on his face. He scrunched his eyes shut for a moment at the onslaught of daylight, but that gave him a moment to take stock of the situation before him…

...Kathryn.

The events of the night before came flooding back and he smiled, realizing the weight in his arms was Kathryn's sleeping form. She had turned in the night and now faced him, her arm wrapped around him and her knee pressed between his. Her soft puffs of breath played across his lips as she slept. He wanted to laugh out loud for how giddily happy he felt. He also knew that he wanted to wake up like this every day for the rest of his life.

He didn't want to wake her, but he couldn't keep his hands from wandering; sliding up under her shirt to caress the skin of her back, pressing kisses to her forehead and tip of her nose. His feet found hers under the blanket and he twined their legs further together. She moaned softly as she slowly came to consciousness, a soft grin pulling her lips up even as her eyes were still shut. "Good morning." Her sleep roughened voice sent desire coursing through him.

"Mmm, good morning indeed." He pressed a kiss to her lips, a low growl sounded in his throat when she instantly opened her mouth for him, her tongue seeking his in her half sleeping state. It was a slow, languorous kiss and Chakotay felt his body responding quickly. He didn't want to rush her, but he craved her body; his desire nearly getting the better of him.

Kathryn seemed to have the same idea as she stretched her body along his, moaning as her muscles lengthened and loosened after a solid night's sleep. She pressed up against him, her own fingers trailing up the skin of his abdomen to rest against his heart beat.

His fingers were just sliding around her hip and up her belly towards her chest, her muscles quivering with anticipation when they heard the front door open and shut downstairs. Chakotay jerked his hand away and Kathryn groaned in frustration, finally opening her eyes, her brow furrowing as their lips parted.

"That will be Emma with breakfast." Chakotay took a deep breath and let it out on a long, slow sigh. "I can go down and placate her for a bit if you want to take a shower and get dressed before you come down." He pressed a short but searing kiss to her lips. "I know how you like to shower and get ready first thing in the morning."

Kathryn grinned at him, still frustrated at being interrupted, but having a very strong feeling that Emma would have no compunction in coming upstairs and right into Chakotay's bedroom to wake him up, and Kathryn did not want to be in the room, in his bed when it happened. "Thank you." She kissed him again, her tongue just sliding along his bottom lip as she pulled away. "I won't take long."

He groaned as she got up and out of bed; the sight of her before him nearly taking his breath away. Her hair was disheveled, her lips slightly swollen from his kisses and her shirt somewhat twisted and hitched up revealing her midriff. Her shorts were deliciously short and he wanted nothing more than to pull her back to bed and slip them off her hips, but he did not want Emma walking in on their first time together. Kathryn winked at him as she exited through his slider to cross the deck to her own room.

Chakotay sat up, groaning softly as his erection subsided. He wanted nothing more than to join Kathryn in the shower, and hoped that they might be able to visit that possibility later. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he stood up, finding a sweatshirt in his bag to pull on before heading downstairs. He'd get dressed after breakfast and Emma's visit, deciding that his pajama pants and a sweatshirt would do for now. He was on vacation after all.

He could hear Emma shuffling around in the kitchen and when he came downstairs he heard the oven beep as she set the temperature control. She looked up when he entered. "Ah, good morning, Brother!" She came over and gave him a hug. He responded easily; it still felt surreal to be back on Earth and back with familiar and long lost faces; first Sekaya and now Emma.

"Good morning." He stepped back, sitting down at the kitchen island.

"Did you sleep well? Where's Kathryn?" Emma began pulling ingredients out of a basket she'd brought, moving about the kitchen pulling bowls and spoons out of drawers and cupboards. "Did you tell her that you love her yet?" Emma grinned wickedly at him, and Chakotay couldn't help but chuckle.

"Actually, yes I did...after she told me that she loves me." he smirked.

Emma shrieked, launching herself at Chakotay, who barely had time to stand up to catch her in another hug.

"Brother, that is so wonderful!" She pulled back, cupping his face in her hands. "I could tell the second I saw you two together yesterday how she felt about you. And it's obvious how smitten you are with her." Emma moved back to the counter top and began mixing ingredients for apple cinnamon muffins. "So, where is she?"

Chakotay sat back down. "She's taking a shower before she comes down."

Emma's jaw dropped open before her mouth morphed into a beaming smile, her brown eyes twinkling. "Ah, she needs to freshen up after last night, huh?" Chakotay felt his cheeks flush at the insinuation, though they had been quite close this morning to needing a shower to freshen up. He didn't want to mention that, however.

"Don't be nosy." Chakotay warned, with absolutely no malice in his tone. "She always showers and prepares early for her day. She always did on Voyager as well." Chakotay got up to put water on to boil for tea. "Don't tease her. She's not exactly comfortable discussing her feelings, so please don't pressure her to do so."

"Chakotay, you don't have to worry. I'll only tease you about it." She gave him a cheeky grin. "But I'm honestly extremely happy for you both." She added milk and honey to the batter, whisking it smooth before pouring it into a muffin tin. "You both deserve epic amounts of happiness after everything you've been through, and I only know about bits and pieces of it." She grinned at him, leaning across the island to whisper at him, "Did you at least kiss her?"

"Emma!" Chakotay tugged on his ear, confirming her suspicion without a word.

"What? I haven't gotten any in like, years. Give a girl something. Otherwise I'll ask Kathryn when she comes down."

"You're the worst." Chakotay spoke from behind his hands as he pressed his face into them, grimacing.

"And yet you still love me." She grinned widely at him as she turned back from the stove, setting the timer for the muffins.

"Yes, for some inexplicable reason, I do. Yes, alright. Yes. I kissed her. And that's all...I'm going to tell you." It was his turn to cup her cheeks across the kitchen island, giving her face a slight squeeze before letting go.

"Fine, fine. Well, I'm very happy for you. Hey, you guys should come to the barn dance tonight."

"Barn dance?" They both turned to see Kathryn enter the kitchen. Chakotay's mouth dropped open, as it seemed to lately, at her appearance.

Her hair was combed, but still damp,curling just slightly as it dried. She wore a pair of blue jeans, a black tank top and a dark burgundy cardigan over it, and black socks. Her skin was flushed from the hot water and she smelled of lavender again; the scent hitting him as she approached. She sat down next to Chakotay and gave him a knowing smile, one that Emma did not miss, but also did not mention.

"My neighbor has a monthly barn dance for everyone in the neighborhood. Everyone brings food for a big potluck dinner, and then there is music for dancing after."

Chakotay looked over at Kathryn, "What do you think?"

"Sounds like fun. What time is it?" Kathryn glanced surreptitiously around the kitchen for coffee, not wanting to interrupt Emma to ask about it.

"Dinner starts at five."

"We'll be there." Kathryn spoke from her seat next to Chakotay. "But we have nothing to bring."

"Oh, don't worry about that, Kathryn. Everyone will just be glad to see Chakotay, and to meet you. You don't have to bring anything."

Emma sat down across from the pair and they all easily fell into conversation about everything and nothing as they had yesterday during their time together. Chakotay reached over and took Kathryn's hand, resting their twined fingers on his thigh. He saw her cheeks pink slightly at the gesture, but she made no move to retract her hand, and he was glad that she was comfortable with this small act of intimacy in front of Emma. He thrilled at the thought of spending the evening dancing with Kathryn.

Chakotay got up several minutes later to retrieve the now boiling water and poured himself a cup, pulling down a box of herbal tea that he'd seen. He also took down a bag of coffee that he had brought and snuck into the cupboard yesterday. She beamed at him when she spotted it. He quickly measured some out and set the coffee pot to brew, waiting by the machine until the pot beneath it was full enough for a first cup, pouring it out into a mug for her. He slid it across the counter to her before squeezing out the tea bag in his own cup and coming back to sit next to Kathryn.

"Emma, it seems quite a coincidence that you happen to have my favorite coffee on hand." Kathryn's eyes slid over to Chakotay's face, where she saw the faintest trace of a smile there.

"I'm afraid I had nothing to do with that," Emma looked over at Chakotay and he coughed gently at the sudden attention from both women.

"I uh, brought it with me when I thought you might come here with me. I know you've had enough replicated coffee to last a lifetime."

Kathryn beamed at him, "But when did-" she didn't finish her question, realizing that he must have had her favorite coffee on hand at his home. Emma noticed the unfinished question but remained silent. "Thank you, Chakotay." He nodded with a soft smile.

Kathryn took a sip of her coffee, her eyes closing and a smile tugging her lips as the softest of moans sounded in her throat. Chakotay loved the look on her face when she drank her first coffee of the day. Emma noticed as well, but it didn't mean what it did to Chakotay.

They continued to visit, sharing breakfast when the apple cinnamon muffins were done. Emma scrambled up some eggs and pulled some fresh fruit from the refrigerator and the three ate and laughed and continued chatting.

"Well, I'll leave you to it. I gotta get back to the farm. I'll come and get you around 4:45, alright?" Emma pushed herself away from the table, taking the empty basket with her as she headed towards the front door.

"Thanks, Emma, we'll see you this afternoon." Chakotay walked her to the door, lowering his voice so that Kathryn wouldn't be able to hear him, "And if you could see fit to make yourself scarce until then, I'd very much appreciate it." He felt his cheeks pink, but knew Emma would understand.

She did. She grinned at him, nudging his shoulder, "Message received, Brother. I'll see you at a quarter to five." Her grin grew as she walked out the door, Chakotay closing it behind her. Taking a deep breath he turned back to face Kathryn.

She stood at the corner of the kitchen island, watching him expectantly. The air was suddenly charged between them, and Chakotay felt his heart flutter. Last night, they had been cocooned in the heat of the fire and the darkness of night. This morning had been a sleepy, lazy haze of kissing and touching, but now, in the light of day, fully clothed and now face to face, Chakotay felt his nerves building back up. He chuckled, tugging his ear gently and motioning towards the loveseat. Kathryn grinned that lopsided grin that he loved so much and followed, sitting down next to him, pulling her knees up as she turned into him, snuggling into his side as she wrapped an arm around his middle. "Tell me what happened with Seven."

Chakotay knew that now was the time, and he breathed in, letting out a sigh as the memories unfolded in his mind. He pulled her closer, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"Okay, here goes." He took another breath, calmed again by the scent of lavender in her hair and the warmth of her in his arms. "Just before Admiral Janeway showed up, Seven invited me to lunch. I knew when I arrived that she wanted it to be a date, and though I wasn't really keen on the idea, I didn't want to hurt her feelings or upset her, so I went along with it." He grimaced at the memory. "I should have explained to her then and there that nothing would come of it, but I didn't. And I enjoyed myself. We had a nice lunch and excellent conversation.

"I tried to tell myself that I should see where things went with her, but I still had such strong feelings for you. I didn't know what to do. And then Admiral Janeway showed up, and everything changed. You suddenly pulled away, and Seven pushed closer."

Kathryn gave Chakotay a squeeze. "I'm sorry about that, I-" Chakotay turned to look down at Kathryn, cutting her off with a gentle kiss to her lips.

"You have nothing to apologize for, and that's not what I was getting at. I'm just telling you where my mind was. I know now what the Admiral told you, and I know how I feel now." He pressed his forehead to hers for a moment, closing his eyes, gathering strength from her once again, feeling that peaceful feeling settle over him when she was near. "I should have known to just ask you what you were thinking, but you distanced yourself. And not knowing what the Admiral had told you at the time, I had no idea what to think." Chakotay leaned back, pulling Kathryn closer again. "Well, Seven came to my quarters with flowers, and she kissed me. I was surprised, but part of me liked it...liked the attention." He felt Kathryn shift to say something, but squeezed her gently to stop her, "I love you, Kathryn. It's always been you. Stop trying to overanalyze what I'm saying."

She could hear if not see the smile in his voice and grinned to herself, nodding silently, allowing him to continue; willing herself to remain still and quiet until he was finished. She knew he loved her, and she him. She wanted to know what had happened, and she would let him finish.

"When I realized that you were going to follow along with the Admiral's plan, I realized that we all might have a future on Earth...and we made it. We actually made it back.

"And then you were gone; between your meetings with the Admiralty and lining up the crew and family visits, I knew you were gone...from all of us, but I thought you were happy. When we were finally all dismissed from Voyager, I found Seven, ready to see where things would go between us. She acted very confused when I brought up our relationship. I didn't understand it, but when I confronted her, she told me that she had no interest in a relationship with me." Chaktay let out a self depreciating laugh, "She was actually sort of disgusted when I brought it up. She told me that she was just using me for practice, because we were friends and she knew that I wouldn't be cruel to her during her experimentation." He let out a sigh, remembering his feelings of anger and anguish when he'd had that conversation with the former borg. "And then she was gone. And you were gone, and I was alone.

"I left Earth that day to go visit Sekaya and her family. It was wonderful to see her, but I missed you, and had no idea what I was going to do with my life now that we were back and I was without you. I visited B'Elanna and Tom a few times when I got back. B'Elanna knew something was wrong with me, but I didn't want to talk about it. I kind of just isolated myself from everyone, until the night of your promotion ceremony. I thought maybe that was my chance to see you and talk to you...try to make things right." Kathryn's breath caught in her throat. She remembered the evening like it was yesterday.

She had been so eager to see Chakotay, regardless of the rumors she'd heard of he and Seven. She missed her friend, and at the very least had wanted to know that he was happy. She could have lived with the way things turned out if he was happy. But when he had congratulated her after the ceremony, his eyes looked distant; different than she'd ever seen. And then Seven had come up to stand beside him, and Kathryn's heart had sunk.

She couldn't stand to see the two of them together, and the sadness in Chakotay's eyes. She had no idea what he was feeling; which was a strange sensation, since she'd spent the better part of seven years learning every nuance in his face, every emotion in those brown eyes.

They had felt like strangers, and she hated it. So she did the only thing she felt that she had the strength to do.

She retreated.

She backed away even further than she had on Voyager and left him to his life; releasing him from his promise that he'd made to her all those years ago on New Earth. She thought that's what he wanted...what he needed.

Kathryn pulled Chakotay even tighter as he held her on the sofa in their vacation home. Chakotay felt her tense and pulled her closer. "And at your ceremony you seemed so distant, so formal, that I realized that you really didn't have any lingering feelings for me, so I left. I left you and the future that I'd only ever dared hope for." He sighed, remembering the anguish of that day, of believing he'd lost Kathryn forever.

"I didn't hear a thing from you until the day before yesterday at Sandrine's. And you know the rest."

They sat in silence for several moments; Kathryn really taking in everything Chakotay had just told her. She wanted desperately to apologize to him again, but knew that he wouldn't hear it. They had both made mistakes; the biggest one was not talking to each other, explaining their actions and feelings, when it was most important.

"You still with me?" Chakotay spoke softly, his hand starting to drift up and down her arm.

"Yes," her voice betrayed her emotions, "I'm just sorry that we both ignored seven years worth of instincts towards each other when it mattered most." She leaned back to search his brown eyes, finding the adoration for her there that she'd seen for years. She couldn't help the smile that pulled her lips up.

"I know. I am too, but we are past all of that now. You know what happened, and what didn't happen with Seven. I kissed her twice, and that's it. I never slept with her, and I don't love her. I never did. I love you." He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips for emphasis, "And you love me. And we're home. That is all that matters."

Kathryn's eyes shone as she watched his face, pressing her palm to his cheek. He grinned at her sheepishly.

"I'm sorry Emma interrupted us this morning." He spoke honestly, the beginnings of desire building in his darkening eyes. Kathryn leaned down to kiss his chest, right over his heart beat.

"I'm not," she grinned playfully, her cheeks pinking at the thought of what almost happened between them this morning, "Well, I am. But I'm glad that the air is completely clear now. I would have wondered about Seven...wondered what happened and how we got from hurtling into the Alpha quadrant to the here and now. And thank you for telling me. I appreciate it."

"Kathryn, of course I would tell you. I don't want there to be anything hidden between us. No baggage...just a fresh start...just us."

She smiled as she leaned back into him, loving the feeling of being held securely in his arms.

They sat in silence for several minutes, just enjoying each other's warmth. Finally Chakotay moved to get up, regretting leaving Kathryn's body heat. "I think I'm going to take a shower and get dressed. Maybe we can go for a walk after that?" Kathryn smiled, nodding in agreement.

"That sounds nice. And I would like to figure out something to bring to the dinner tonight. Well, you'll have to make it, but I'll watch and hand you spoons and things." Chakotay laughed, leaning down to press a kiss into her hair.

"I'll be back down shortly." Kathryn nodded, watching him as he retreated up the stairs. She sighed as she sank back into the sofa, feeling lighter and happier than she even had last night. And was very much looking forward to the rest of their vacation.

=/\=

Author's Note: So I _had_ promised some friends that this would be a smutty chapter, but it kind of got away from me, but I GUARANTEE a rating change for the next chapter...YAY! Let me know what you think!


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: Sorry for the delay of this one. I promised a rating change for this chapter, and I have delivered. I hope this was worth the wait. The last half is NSFW. Please let me know what you think. Thank you to jemabean and gijane for the read through, and to TrekFlower, I'm sorry for the Coda style killing...but hopefully you'll forgive me ;-)**

=/\=

Kathryn's brow furrowed as she sifted through every piece of clothing that she'd brought with her on their trip. Absolutely nothing she had was appropriate for a dance, barn or otherwise. She had one skirt that was more befitting a day of lounging than wearing in public, and none of her tops seemed adequate. She realized, concerned as she looked at the clock, seeing that it was almost three in the afternoon, that she had nothing to wear. Chewing on the inside of her lip in contemplation, she made her way back downstairs where Chakotay was busy in the kitchen, making a fruit salad to take to dinner.

She rounded the corner into the living room, grinning at Chakotay as he paused from chopping fruit to see what she was up to. "Don't let me interrupt you," she spoke in a flippant tone, trying to remain nonchalant, but easily piquing Chakotay's curiosity as she palmed the communicator from the bookshelf and took it back upstairs with her. Chakotay chuckled at the enigma that was Kathryn Janeway. He could spend the rest of his life trying to figure her out, and probably never have all of the layers revealed. He hoped he had that long to try.

Kathryn went back into her bedroom and shut the door before activating the communicator. It took only a few seconds before Emma's voice came across the device. "Hey, Kathryn, is everything alright?" Emma sounded out of breath and Kathryn felt bad for interrupting whatever work she was probably doing.

"Everything is fine, and I'm sorry to bother you, but I have a bit of a problem about the dance tonight." She rolled her eyes at herself for her nerves. She felt like she was preparing for a date…

...in a way, she was.

"Sure, Kathryn, what's wrong? And how can I help?"

"I have nothing to wear. I didn't pack any dresses, or anything really fancy to wear to a party. I was hoping that maybe you had something I could borrow." Kathryn clenched her teeth gently, hoping it wasn't too much of a request. "I'm sorry for the late notice."

Kathryn sighed when she heard Emma's smile in her voice, "It's no problem at all. Come on over and we'll find something great."

"Thank you. I'll see you soon."

Now, nearly an hour later, Kathryn stood in her bedroom eyeing her outfit in the full length mirror behind the door.

She felt incredibly flirty and sexy, and hoped that Chakotay would like her wardrobe choice. She knew he was downstairs waiting for her, as Emma was due to pick them up in about ten minutes. Grinning at her reflection, she opened the door and headed downstairs.

Chakotay looked in the direction of the stairs at the sound of her door opening. He knew she'd borrowed something from Emma when she'd come back from across the street with worn red cowboy boots in hand and a dress wrapped in what appeared to be a denim jacket. She made her way quickly upstairs, wanting her outfit to be a surprise. As she descended the stairs now, he absolutely agreed that it was worth the wait.

Kathryn's hand gracefully trailed down the railing to keep her balance as she wasn't used to walking in cowboy boots, though she was surprised as how comfortable they were. The backs of the boots reached almost the top of her calves; Chakotay could just make out her lower leg muscles flexing as she took each step. The dress fluttered around mid thigh, the peachy material swaying gently over the creamy expanse of skin that was exposed between her knees and the bottom of the flowy material. The hem was uneven; layers of filmy peach fabric overlapped to create the slightest of flairs in the skirt of the dress. The pattern was busy, consisting of large areas of orange with overlapping paisley and feather patterns, small green leaves and purples feathers combined into a visual cacophony of designs that blended together to give it an overall orange appearance until you looked closely.

The bodice of the dress nearly looked like a corset, but had no laces that Chakotay could see. It hugged her abdomen and chest seductively; the tight pull of the bodice caused her breasts to swell enticingly at the top of the dress. The denim jacket she wore was only buttoned at the top to hold it shut, and it was short, only reaching the bottom of her ribcage. The sleeves were rolled up just past her wrists, and her hair was down, flowing gently over her shoulders as she moved.

She looked exquisite.

Chakotay felt his heart flutter and his groin tighten at the beauty of her before him. "Kathryn, you look incredible." He had moved to the bottom of the stairs as she had approached and now reached for her, helping her down the last two steps to stand before him. His hand felt warm as it held hers, and she took in his appearance as well.

"I could say the same to you, Commander," she gave him that half grin that pulled his dimples easily into his cheeks. He loved the use of his former title. It was almost a pet name now as she spoke it.

Chakotay was dressed simply in dark blue jeans that hugged him in all the right places, and a simple black dress shirt. The top few buttons were undone, giving just a hint of a view of the skin beneath, and his sleeves were also rolled up to mid-forearm. The black of the shirt made him look especially tan, his copper skin looking warm and inviting and Kathryn moved easily into his arms. Chakotay's hand came up under her jacket to feel the slippery material of the bodice of the dress and the naked skin between her shoulder blades, his other hand resting at the base of her spine. She felt amazing in his arms, and he wished now that the dance was over and they were back in this sanctuary. He felt her breath play across the skin of his neck as she pressed herself against him.

She still smelled of lavender, but something else as well; a slightly floral perfume she must have added since this morning. There was a slight spice to it, and Chakotay felt his groin tighten further as he held her, his fingers playing with the zip at the top of her dress.

Kathryn felt his erection stirring, pressing against her belly through the denim of his jeans, her own arousal sending electricity through every fiber of her being. She had been aroused since this morning when they woke up, and now she let out a soft moan, undulating her pelvis gently against him, earning a growl that sounded in his throat as he pulled back to look at her, "Kathryn, if you keep that up, we are not leaving this room," he warned, a twinkle in his darkening eyes.

She was just about to give her retort when there was a knock at the door. Before she could pull away from Chakotay, or speak or think, he spun them around and pressed her against the wall next to the stairs, his lips crashing down on hers in a kiss that she felt all the way to her toes.

His fingers moved up into her hair as his tongue slid against her bottom lip, his own mouth forcing hers open as his jaw worked against hers. He swallowed her moan as his tongue swept into her mouth, caressing hers before pulling back to look at her. In those few precious seconds her cheeks had flushed and her eyes darkened to a steely grey. She was panting through parted lips as she tried to regain her bearings. He grinned cheekily at her as he backed up further, the cool air sweeping in between their overheated bodies, bringing her back to herself as she quickly straightened her hair, thankful that she hadn't worn lipstick.

He turned to open the door to Emma, grinning as he moved aside to let her in. "Right on time."

Emma came inside, noticing the flush in Kathryn's cheeks and her breathing through parted lips, but she merely smiled, keeping all thoughts to herself. "You two look wonderful. Kathryn wears that dress so much better than I do." Emma wore a brown and green plaid, long-sleeved dress that came just past her knees and her own faded brown cowboy boots; her long hair in a high ponytail. She looked adorable, and Chakotay gave her a grin.

"You look great, Emma." Chakotay spoke to his friend, and Kathryn nodded in agreement, her brain finally starting to work again. "Let me just grab our fruit salad and we'll be ready." Chakotay moved away from the women, glad for the breather, able to get his body under control as he opened the fridge and took out the large bowl of mixed fruits. Taking a deep breath, he let it out slowly, closing the door and going back out to the living room.

The drive to Emma's neighbor's house was a short one, as he just lived across the street and three houses down. Chakotay and Kathryn walked hand in hand, following Emma around behind the house where a large red barn stood, doors open, music already wafting through the air as people milled around outside, talking and laughing.

=/\=

Dinner was amazing and Kathryn now sat next to Chakotay, content and warm in the large barn. A half dozen picnic tables were lined up end to end to create a banquet style dinner table. Dishes were passed around until every plate was full. Beer, wine and harder liquor flowed freely, and now, as Kathryn sipped her third glass of red wine she watched the people around her visit and laugh together. Several people knew of her via local news streams, and she had recounted several dramatic tales of their adventures in the Delta quadrant to many eager listeners. Everyone was gracious, their inquiries coming from sheer curiosity, not an abhorrent need for gossip or drama. Several men and women greeted Chakotay excitedly, not having seen him in nearly a decade. Kathryn could tell he was extremely happy to be reunited with old friends, and sat contentedly next to him as he visited with his acquaintances and adopted family.

Chakotay's hand rested gently on Kathryn's bare knee as he chatted with an old man across the table, his fingers tracing circles gently on the inside of her thigh. He didn't move higher, but his touch was heated enough to let her know his train of thought.

Kathryn let her own hand rest on his back, moving slowly back and forth in a soothing gesture; she very much enjoyed being able to touch him like this, in front of people and without worry of reprimand or recourse. She knew Chakotay was enjoying it too; he would occasionally turn to look at her, his eyes twinkling and his dimples on full display.

After the meal, several couples got up immediately and began dancing to the music that played from a music player in the corner. It had a speaker similar to an old phonograph, but the music chips were reminiscent of the kind Zefram Cochrane had used in his ship, The Phoenix.

The song that played now was a bouncy bluegrass tune; banjo and hammer dulcimer music filled the air. It was a themed dance, the couple's moving in tandem as though they'd performed these steps many times before. Kathryn enjoyed watching them, and soon one dance turned into another and the couples moved together as the music slowed into a gentler rhythm. Emma turned to Chakotay with a grin, "Dance with me, brother." Chakotay glanced at Kathryn with a smile and pecked her lips softly before standing up and meeting Emma on the dance floor.

Kathryn realized, in that moment, that she'd never seen Chakotay dance before. She was very much looking forward to the opportunity.

He was such a solid presence on the dance floor, but she knew his love of boxing would make him light on his feet. She'd seen it herself when she watched him box, or anytime he'd had to fight some hostile alien, but watching him now as he swayed with Emma on the dance floor, she realized how graceful he truly was. His broad shoulders moved gently as he placed one hand on Emma's back, his other holding her hand as he moved her in slow circles on the dance floor.

Kathryn watched Chakotay's hips sway gently as one step led to another as he moved his friend in the dance. Kathryn licked her lips as she watched his thigh muscles flex under the denim of his jeans as his weight shifted from foot to foot.

His dark hair was styled as it always had been on Voyager, but she'd noticed at Sandrine's the other night that he'd startled to let some of the grey show through again. It was incredibly sexy, and she was glad that he no longer tried to hide it. She couldn't hear them speak, but Emma must have said something funny because the pair laughed, Emma's eyes crinkling and Chakotay's dimples pressed deeply into his cheeks.

"May I have this dance, Admiral?" Kathryn started as someone placed a hand gently on her shoulder to get her attention. She glanced up to see Emma's friend, Johnny standing before her. He looked slightly nervous, a pink tint to his cheeks as he nervously ran his fingers through his blonde hair. "I mean, if you want to."

Kathryn gladly took pity on the young man. She pulled off her denim jacket and stood up to take his proffered hand. "Only on the condition that you don't call me Admiral. It's Kathryn." Johnny grinned sheepishly at her, but took her hand more firmly, leading her around the length of tables and back to the dance floor. "How are you feeling, Johnny? Emma told us you were sick."

Johnny's face broke into a goofy grin, "I didn't realize you knew that was me." He blushed, "I'm feeling much better. I appreciate you asking." He pulled her a bit closer as the song changed; the next song a bit faster in tempo, but Johnny led her easily into the rhythm of the music.

Kathryn hadn't danced in a very VERY long time, but she was enjoying herself, and she knew Johnny was just relieved at having not been turned down for a dance.

He was skilled on the dance floor, and though some of his moves were a little rough around the edges, he moved her with ease, and she found herself grinning at the young boy as they danced. "My friends are never going to believe that I got to dance with Admiral Janeway," he realized as soon as he spoke the words that he maybe shouldn't have said them, "I'm sorry, that's not the only reason I asked you to dance, I just saw that Chakotay was dancing with Emma, and I didn't want you to feel left out." He blushed even more crimson. Kathryn chuckled.

"At ease, Johnny. I'm flattered that you asked." He beamed at her.

"We just don't get anyone famous visiting our little corner of Michigan, and you and Chakotay are practically celebrities…and I'm just gonna stop now."

"May I cut in?" They both turned to see Chakotay standing beside them, his dimples just barely puckering his cheeks as he smiled at the pair. Johnny nodded, quickly unhanding Kathryn as he gave her a bashful smile and moved away. Once he was out of earshot, Chakotay let out a chuckle, "I can't wait to tell my friends that I get to dance with Admiral Janeway."

Kathryn swatted him playfully before sliding easily into his arms. Instead of taking his hand, she draped both of her arms over his shoulders, moving her body flush against his as her fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck. Chakotay's arms came around her possessively, resting low on her hips as he swayed her to the beat of the next song; much slower than the last. "Don't tease the poor boy," Kathryn whispered out as she pressed her forehead into his neck, reveling in the warmth of him. He pulled her tighter as one hand came up her arm to the thin strap of her dress.

"I can't believe you've had this dress hidden under that jacket all evening." He growled low in his throat as his thumb pushed gently at the thin strap holding her dress up. Not with enough pressure to push it from her shoulder, but enough to expose a bit of flesh that he leaned down and pressed a kiss to. "If I had known, we would never have left the house."

Kathryn could feel his arousal begin to swell, pressing into her stomach again. She wanted nothing more than to rub her body against his like a cat, but didn't want him to be embarrassed in front of all these people, so she held back, instead settling on pressing an open mouthed kiss to his neck, her tongue gently darting out to taste him. She felt a rumble in his throat as he tried to suppress a moan. "Kathryn…" he warned in a low growl.

She pulled back to look at him, his desire darkening his eyes for the second time this evening. Without warning his lips came crashing down on hers, the pretense of the dance nearly forgotten as they lost themselves in one another. "I couldn't watch you dance with him any longer," Chakotay spoke against her mouth, "I know he's just a kid, but watching your hips swaying as he moved you...watching you laugh, watching his hands move over your back," He spoke haltingly between kisses as he fought to catch his breath.

"Commander, I do believe you're jealous," she put slight emphasis on her last word as she pressed her pelvis gently against his, feeling his hardness there; thrilling as another moan sounded low in his throat.

"I am jealous of any man that gets to spend time with you; that gets to dance with you and hold you close." Kathryn grinned as they continued to sway to the music.

"Well," she spoke softly, leaning up to whisper in his ear. She felt him shudder as her hot breath caressed his skin, "You're the only man I plan on taking home and making love to tonight, so you have no reason to be jealous." She felt his hardness twitch against her at her words and he pulled back enough to look her in the eye.

"We're leaving," he growled out and a thrill shot straight through her to pool in liquid heat in her belly. Chakotay spun her around to walk close in front of him to hide the obvious evidence of his arousal. Kathryn moved towards her seat where she'd left her denim jacket, but Chakotay's vice grip on her arms kept her on course for the door. "Leave it," he breathed in her ear, grinning satisfactorily at the feeling of her shivering in his arms.

"What about Emma? Should we tell her we're leaving?" Kathryn glanced around as they made a bee line for the exit. She didn't spot their host or any other familiar faces as they walked quickly through the throng of dancing couples.

"She'll figure it out." They had just cleared the dance floor and Chakotay leaned down to nip at her ear, his teeth biting down gently on her earlobe. Kathryn's knees actually buckled from arousal and it was only Chakotay's grip on her biceps that kept her on her feet.

Emma chuckled to herself as she watched them leave, knowing full well how their evening was going to end.

=/\=

It was dark by now, but the moon was out and Chakotay knew the way back to their house on foot. They were less than a half a mile away, but Chakotay knew he couldn't wait that long to get his hands on Kathryn again.

Just off the driveway was a large tree, and Chakotay pushed Kathryn towards it, spinning her around and pinning her against it as his mouth sought hers again. He slid one hand into her hair, his other coming to rest high on her back to protect her skin from the rough bark. She groaned in appreciation as she took handfuls of his shirt between her clenched fingers, pulling him flush against her body.

"Kathryn, you are so incredible." He breathed the words against her lips, feeling her own breath heat the skin of his mouth as her lungs worked to pull in and release enough air, "It was all I could do to not splay you out on the table and have my way with you right then and there. Watching you dance...the way your body moved…" his voice trailed off as his mouth moved along her jaw, his lips applying pressure to the skin just below her ear, causing another moan deep in her throat. He felt her tremble and smiled against her skin. Knowing that she wanted this as much as he did caused him to regrettably pull away, taking her hand as he moved them both towards the road. He needed to get her home, and quickly.

Kathryn felt her heart pick up with every step closer to their destination. She wished in that moment for a transporter, because even though it was only about a five minute walk, that was five minutes that she couldn't have her hands on him, couldn't feel his arms wrapped around her. As her eyes adjusted in the dark she took in his form in front of her.

He moved with such purpose, and it was reminiscent of their days on Voyager. Once his mind was made up, he would not be deterred, and it set her soul on fire to witness him like this; so determined in his want for her that she couldn't help but speed up her steps, pulling her hand from his so she could wrap her arms around him from behind. He froze in his tracks, closing his eyes as her hands slid around him, one hand resting between his pectoral muscles, the other sliding down to cup him through his jeans, grinning at the strangled sound that escaped his lips. "And what about me?" She stood up on her toes so she could whisper in his ear, "Watching you move on the dance floor; watching your broad shoulders and your hips sway to the music. I've never been so turned on in my life."

Chakotay never thought he would hear those words come from Kathryn, and hearing them now, along with her hand grasping him through his jeans nearly brought him to completion on the spot.

He turned to face her, the moonlight reflecting in her eyes, and seeing the lust and adoration in her blue depths, he pulled her into an embrace, "Spirits Kathryn, I love you so much."

Her arms came around him easily as she took a deep breath, reigning in her emotions as they stood at the end of the driveway. The air was chilly, but Kathryn's skin was on fire everywhere that he touched. "Kathryn, I want nothing more than to lay you down, right here and now, and show you how much I want you, but I will be damned if our first time together is in the dirt, or with you pinned against a tree." He felt her chuckle against his chest, "Let's just get home so we can make love...properly."

Kathryn's heart fluttered and heat pooled in her belly at the image of him, nude and hard and pressing into her. She felt a moan escape her lips, his erection pressing rock hard into her belly yet again. Knowing it must be painful for him, she was able to calm herself down enough to pull away, taking his hand and twining her fingers with his and pulling him towards the road in the direction of their home.

=/\=

They walked quickly and purposefully back to their vacation home, barely attempting to close the door as they ascended the stairs at a near run. Kathryn pulled him into her bedroom, only for the reason that it was the closest one to the stairs. Not bothering to turn the light on, she lay down, using her grip on his shirt to pull him down on top of her as her mouth found his. Fisting the material of his shirt with all her might, she pulled...hard. Buttons went flying as the sides came apart; only the topmost button stayed put. With a huff of frustration Kathryn worked it loose until the side of his shirt hung free, his torso bared in the darkness of the room.

Chakotay chuckled at her eagerness, but the sound turned into a moan as her fingers worked up and down the spanse of skin now accessible to her. "This was one of my favorite shirts." he joked at her, pressing a searing kiss to her lips.

"I'll learn to sew and fix it for you." She quipped back, taking hold of his shirt again, pulling his body down against hers, wishing that her dress wasn't a barrier between them as she ached to feel his naked flesh pressed against hers. Her lips forced his mouth open as her tongue slid greedily against his. Sweeping across the roof of his mouth, she tasted him; a mix of bourbon and sweetness and something that was only him. Her lungs burned for more air, but she refused them, and even as Chakotay tried to pull back for breath her tongue swept through his mouth again.

"Kathryn," he gasped in the much needed oxygen, pressing his eyes shut to try to reign in his lust. The heat of her below him had him grinding his erection into her hip bone, desperate to alleviate the pressure there. "We can slow down." He panted as he fought for more air, "I want this to be good for you." His mouth pressed wet kisses across her parted lips, down her jaw and to where her pulse fluttered fast under the skin of her neck.

Kathryn tipped her head to the side to give him better access while taking one of his hands in hers. In a gesture that Chakotay would remember as one of the sexiest of his entire life, she dragged his fingers up the inside of her thigh. The fabric of her dress had bunched around her hips and as his fingers trailed up to their destination, he nearly came in his pants at the fact that she wore no panties beneath that short skirt, and that his fingers were immediately immersed in her wetness. She let out a low keening noise as his finger slid between her folds, feeling the molten heat of her there.

"Chakotay, I've been wet for you since this morning." Her voice was low and husky and Chakotay, if at all possible, grew even harder at her words, "Seven years of foreplay is long enough." She reached for the buckle of his belt, working it loose as quickly as possible. "Can we go slow next time? I need you inside me, now." Chakotay pressed his forehead to hers, momentarily frozen in place as she pulled the zip of his jeans down. The release of pressure as his erection was no longer trapped in the confines of his pants was quickly overshadowed by her hand wrapping around his length, working him with firm, even strokes.

In the darkness of the room Chakotay lowered himself to her, his harness sliding easily through her folds. He gritted his teeth to stave off his impending finish, worried that he would not be able to satisfy her. "Kathryn, I'm not going to last long…" it was an apology and a statement, but he felt her smile as her lips pressed into his.

"I'm not either." She bucked her hips up to rub against his erection once again, "Chakotay, please…"

He was never able to defy a direct order from her, and in one swift thrust he entered her.

This must be what heaven feels like, he thought to himself as he was finally sheathed in her tight, wet heat. She cried out at being so suddenly stretched by his girth, but was overwhelmed at the fact that after the better part of a decade, this was finally happening. Denying them both for years had been the hardest thing she'd ever done, and now, with him buried in her slick heat, she knew it was worth it.

This was perfect.

She tipped her hips up towards him and he slipped in even deeper, groaning as he pressed his forehead into the skin of her neck as he began a frenzied rhythm with his hips.

His thrusts were immediately frantic as the coil of heated arousal that had been living low in his belly all day began to wind tighter and tighter, nearing fever pitch as he felt her inner walls clamp down on him as she flexed.

His hand trailed up to cup her breast through her dress; Chakotay also frustrated that the garment prevented him from touching her, though he chuckled at the fact that he still had all of his clothes on as well, having merely moved his own so he could join with her.

Kathryn arched her back as his fingers found her nipple through the thick fabric of the bust of her dress, pinching it as best he could through the material. "More." She urged him, her hips bucking under him as she ached for more contact.

His fingers slid down the expanse of her clothed torso and found her bundle of nerves; he used his pointer and middle finger to massage circles around it. Kathryn jerked as her pleasure reached new heights, her orgasm beginning to tremble into being as Chakotay's fingers worked over her.

Chakotay knew she was close as her fingernails dragged down the skin of his back, her breath coming out in strangled puffs as she fought her lungs to pull air in and out. He wished he could see her face, but in the darkness of her bedroom, he relied on his other senses to experience the moment.

The sound of her moans went straight to his groin as he bucked into her again and again. Her scent was intoxicating; her body heat warming the spice of her perfume, mixing with the scent of her arousal, it was quickly becoming an addiction that he had no plan of living without. And her heat completely surrounding him was what ultimately did it. The feel of her writhing beneath him pushed him closer to the edge. "Kathryn, I'm so…I can't," he spoke through gritted teeth, hoping against hope that she was close.

With a sudden jerk her pelvis lifted off the mattress as her inner walls clenched around him; her keening cry of pleasure tore from her throat. Her fingernails dug into the flesh of his arms and he reveled in the pain as his orgasm burst forth, coming in wave after wave of pleasure as he emptied himself into her heat, his own guttural cry of her name piercing the air.

Kathryn's arms dropped to her sides as her chest heaved in oxygen. Her lips curved up in a soft smile as the aftershocks of her orgasm pulsed all the way to her fingertips.

Chakotay's fingers slowed to a stop and he moved both hands to hold himself up so as not to crush her. He felt tremors of her waning orgasm pulse around him as he was still buried deep inside her. Each shockwave created one of his own as little pulses shot through him as aftershocks of pleasure.

"I love you," Kathryn breathed out, not able to form any more words as her lungs still fought for air.

Chakotay sucked in a deep breath, "Kathryn, I love you too. Words can't describe how much." He heaved out air and drew in another breath. "You are my everything."

Her hands came up and around him, using her remaining strength to pull him down on top of her. He didn't have the strength to fight it, so he let his weight press into her, resting his cheek over her heartbeat, listening as it slowly came back to normal. Her fingers trailed lazily up and down his back as the sleepy comfort of afterglow began to make her feel heavy and drowsy. She grinned, pressing a kiss into his hair, taking a deep inhalation through her nose to take in his scent.

Chakotay's spent erection finally softened, and as he pulled back from her, he slipped out of her heat, instantly missing it. Reaching over, he fumbled for the bedside lamp and turned it on, bathing them in a soft golden glow. Kathryn was a vision before him.

Her hair was splayed across the pillow, her cheeks flushed and her lips thoroughly swollen from his kisses. Her chest rose and fell slowly, and her breasts were so close to spilling out of the top of her dress that had Chakotay not just had an orgasm, he would have immediately grown hard at the sight. Her eyes were closed as she reveled in the moment of pure bliss and Chakotay let his gaze slide down her body. Her stomach muscles rippled as he let his fingers slide gently over her abdomen, being careful to avoid to overstimulated sex, which lay before him to see as her legs were still spread wide.

She was a vision and a dream come true as his eyes raked down her muscular but slender thighs, letting out a soft groan at the fact that she still wore those command red cowboy boots. He would never have imagined their first time quite this way, but they never did anything conventionally, and he chuckled softly as his gaze landed once again on her face.

She was watching him now, and her blue eyes sparkled, clear and open and full of love as he moved back up to kiss her once again. She hummed contentedly into his mouth, letting her fingers trace gently over the structures of his face as he pulled back to watch her; her touch moved over his tattoo, his strong jaw, and down his neck, pushing at his shirt as her fingers moved over his broad shoulders. They both chuckled at the state of their disarray.

"How about I run you a bath?" Chakotay spoke gently as he finally moved off the bed, tucking himself back into his boxers. She arched an eyebrow at him as she sat up, pulling her boots off and flexing her toes and ankles.

"Only if you join me." She stood up slowly, her leg muscles feeling like jelly as they bore her weight.

"Always." Chakotay grinned down at her, taking her hand and leading her into her bathroom.


	9. Chapter 9

The claw-foot tub would easily accommodate both of them, Chakotay noted to himself as he turned on the water, testing the temperature with his fingertips as it flowed out of the faucet. Once it was adjusted to what he knew was Kathryn's temperature preference, he placed the drain plug and stood back up, gazing down at the beauty of her, leaning casually in the doorway watching him.

Her sated, dreamy smile still played on her face and Chakotay let out a contented sigh as he approached her, sliding his fingers against her cheeks and into her hair, massaging her scalp gently. Her eyes slipped shut at his ministrations and she practically purred at his touch. Spent as he was for the moment, he felt himself twitch in fresh desire.

Kathryn reached behind her for the zipper to her dress, but Chakotay quickly moved to stop her. "Don't you dare." He grinned mischievously at her, "I have been dreaming of undressing you for years." A husky chuckle sounded in her throat as she turned around, giving him access to her back.

Taking the zipper between his thumb and finger he pulled it down to her waist, sighing again as her milky flesh was laid bare before him. The tight bodice of the dress held the material in place; he gently pulled the unzipped sides apart, leaning in to press gentle, open-mouthed kisses down the skin of her spine. He grinned against her flesh when she leaned back, pressing herself towards him.

He knelt down to kiss the last bit of skin uncovered by the dress, just above her tail bone. Letting the tips of his fingers graze up and down her back, he reveled in the warmth of her flesh beneath his touch.

Even though they had just made love not five minutes ago, he still marveled that this was Kathryn..._his_ Kathryn...allowing herself to be completely open and trusting of him. It was a wonder, and not something he would ever take for granted.

He slid his fingers down her back, finally pulling at the fabric of her skirt, wiggling it off her hips and down her legs. The scent of their lovemaking hit him like a force and he closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath through his nose. Once the material was bunched at her feet, she stepped out of it carefully, then turned to face him.

Chakotay looked up slowly, taking in the sight of her, naked and flushed before him. Her eyes were heavy-lidded and the wanton look on her face caused his spent erection to stir again.

She reached for his hands, helping him to his feet. She easily pushed the torn fabric of his shirt off his shoulders, then hooked her fingers into the waistband of his jeans. He hadn't bothered to fasten them back up, and those and his boxers joined the pile of clothing on the bathroom floor.

Kathryn stepped up to him, pressing her naked flesh into his, both sighing contentedly as they reveled in each other's heat.

"I imagined you'd feel like this," Kathryn spoke softly, pressing her cheek into his chest, listening to the steady beating of his heart. "I dreamed about this so many times on Voyager, hoping against hope that I'd know what it was like."

Chakotay's fingers brushed gently up and down the soft, smooth skin of her back. "You are perfect," he whispered into her hair. He heard her chuckle. "What is it?"

"You'd better turn that water off or we're going to have some explaining to do to Emma when her downstairs is flooded."

Chakotay grinned, flashing his dimples as he pulled away from her for a moment to shut the water off. Taking her hand, he pulled her towards the edge of the tub.

He climbed in first, leaning up against the far end, holding Kathryn's hand as she got in after him. She sat in front of him and leaned back against his chest, letting out a contented sigh.

"Now, _this _would have been a nice way to unwind on Voyager after a stressful day," Chakotay spoke softly, wrapping both arms around her, content for the moment just to hold her.

She chuckled, "Yes it would have. Right up until the ship went to red alert and we both showed up on the bridge with soap suds in our hair." She could feel his smile against her ear as he gave her a squeeze.

"And you still would have been the most terrifying captain in the fleet, soap suds and all," he chuckled, "A lot of my fantasies over the last seven years included you and me and a bathtub."

Kathryn let her fingers run up and down his thighs under the water. "Mine too. I always thought about sharing the tub on New Earth with you." Chakotay chuckled again.

"Why do you think I built it as big as I did?"

Kathryn's mouth dropped open in mock horror and she turned to face him, "You mean while I was devastated about losing Voyager and working desperately to find a cure for our illness, you were plotting how to seduce me?" her eyebrow quirked up and Chakotay laughed.

"Hey, of course I wasn't...at least not right away. But I was...hoping that a lifetime together on New Earth might lead to...things happening between us." He pulled her a bit closer to his chest, kissing the back of her head. "We just weren't there long enough to find out."

Kathryn remembered the anguish she'd felt when Tuvok's voice had crackled into existence in their small home, immediately destroying the future she had only just imagined with Chakotay. "I felt like I lost us when Voyager came back...and a future that was seeming more and more enjoyable by the day." She pressed a kiss to his forearm, "I've never been so sad to be rescued before."

"I know. Me either."

They remained silent for a few minutes then, just enjoying the intimacy and closeness that they now got to enjoy. Soon, however, Chakotay's grip on her loosened as his fingers began to whisper up and down her arms where he could reach, then sliding down her ribs. He could feel her breathing pick up slightly as he worked his way over her belly, his thumbs barely touching the underside of her breasts. She let out a soft sigh of frustration as Chakotay avoided all the places that she wanted to be touched.

Finally, painstakingly slowly, the fingers of his right hand whispered down the skin of her lower belly, sliding between her thighs as she parted her legs as best she could in the confined space. She arched her hips to press into his touch, at the same moment his left hand came around to cup her breast. Chakotay growled out a moan of satisfaction as she began to undulate her hips to move in tandem with his fingers as he worked to bring her arousal to its inevitable completion. With each back press of her hips, her tailbone pressed into his quickly growing erection. His moans of pleasure, soft though they were for the moment, sent waves of rapture through her as she felt his hardness pressing eagerly against her.

She leaned back against his chest, her head dropping to his shoulder as her breathing came out in shorter and faster pants. His left hand massaged her breast, marveling at the weight and how it fit perfectly in his palm. Using his thumb and forefinger, he pinched her nipple gently before sliding over to take the other in hand. She keened out a low moan as the movement of her hips became more frantic, pressing against his fingers between her thighs, desperate for more friction. Chakotay was eager to oblige.

His fingers circled faster around her bundle of nerves while his other hand still caressed her breast. As he added pressure between her thighs, he pinched her nipple again, while biting down gently on her shoulder.

The trifecta of sensations had her tumbling over the edge; a moan sounded through her gritted teeth as she arched her back, her breasts coming out of the water as her orgasm lifted her body.

Chakotay groaned at the vision before him; her shivering body quaking with pleasure in his arms as electricity jolted from her core outwards. The back of her head pressed into his shoulder as she leaned back, seemingly oblivious to her body's movements as she rode the waves of pleasure that his hands and mouth created.

Chakotay was now painfully hard, but utterly in awe at the beauty of Kathryn before him. Her body was taut as a bowstring and he could feel her heart hammering erratically beneath his hand.

As her body slowly started to relax and slide back into the water, she couldn't help the contented chuckle that sounded in the back of her throat. He grinned against the skin of her cheek, whispering soft kisses against her neck and shoulders as she came down from her high.

As she lay back against him, his erection pressed into the small of her back, causing Chakotay to hiss and buck his hips into her without meaning to. She felt the heat radiating off of him that had nothing to do with the bathwater, and turned to kneel before him. His eyes were dark with desire, a look of hunger for her evident on his face. She was shocked when she felt fresh desire pool in her belly, her system telling her she was already ready to go again.

In one swift move, Kathryn lifted herself and slid her thighs to the outside of Chakotay's, straddling him as best she could in the tub. His hands came down to take hold of her hips sliding her forward until her pelvis was pulled flush against his, his erection pinned between their bodies. His lips came down on hers, moaning low in his throat as she began to slide her slickness against his erection, her tongue mimicking the motion against his as it entered his mouth.

He began to buck against her to alleviate the pressure in his groin, and without warning, Kathryn shifted her hips expertly, sheathing him in her heat. His mouth dropped open and his eyes shut at the sensation.

Kathryn pulled her knees up, allowing him to slip even deeper, "Spirits, Kathryn, you feel amazing." His hands slid up to cup both breasts as she used her leverage to rock back and forth above him, grinning as the water sloshed precariously close to the edge of the claw-foot tub.

Kathryn watched as Chakotay's eyes closed, his brow furrowing in concentration as his pleasure built. His nostrils flared as he drew quick, shallow breaths in and out, his hands sliding back down to help her with her movements. She felt his fingers pressing with more strength into her flesh, his biceps flexing deliciously as he pulled her harder onto his erection with each of her forward thrusts.

Kathryn felt her own pleasure build, but her body still felt relaxed from her last orgasm. She focused less on her own desire and tried to make this good for Chakotay. She began to swivel her hips with each downward thrust and Chakotay let out a moan, his mouth dropping open at the myriad of sensations.

Kathryn closed her own eyes, focusing on the coil of pleasure beginning to build at her center. She could tell Chakotay was close but didn't mind if he finished without her. She would just be that much more ready when they went again. Chakotay, however, was not about to leave her behind.

His hand moved across her pelvis, his thumb sliding between her lips to press into her clit. Her eyes shot open to meet his gaze, his own eyes nearly black. The look of fire there, plus the instant pressure at her center caused an orgasm to explode into being. She kept her eyes trained on his face as pleasure radiated through her body. Having the wherewithal to flex her inner muscles, she clamped down on his erection.

That did it.

She felt him buck up into her one final time, pulling her hips down hard as he pulsed inside her, his own orgasm leaving him speechless as it tore through him.

Kathryn closed her eyes and focused on the sensation of him emptying himself inside her, completely content as her orgasm washed away, leaving complete relaxation in its wake.

His fingers pressed into her hips in a vice grip, almost as though he were unaware of himself. His eyes fell shut and his mouth dropped open to pull in air as he worked to regain his breathing.

Unable to keep her knees bent in that position anymore, Kathryn collapsed forward onto Chakotay's chest, smiling as his arms came up to hold her to him. The rise and fall of his chest caused her to sway gently in the water, and she slid her arms up and around his neck to hold herself tight against him.

"I love you," she whispered as she pressed gentle kisses into the skin of his neck. He hummed in response, wrapping his arms tighter around her.

"I love you too Kathryn." He sighed contentedly. "You are exquisite." She could hear the smile in his voice. 'It's probably for the best that this didn't happen before we got home, though. I'd never have let you out of your quarters." They both chuckled at the thought.

Kathryn sat back after a moment, starting to feel a chill as the water cooled and evaporated on her skin. "Ready to get out?" he asked softly, letting his thumb slide across her cheekbone. She nodded.

He leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers as he reached behind her and pulled the drain plug, his other hand sliding into her hair and drawing her closer as he leaned back.

They both got out and wrapped towels around themselves; Chakotay leaning in to press kisses against any part of her flesh that was exposed as she dried off. Once they were both dry, Kathryn threw her towel on the floor and took Chakotay's hand, leading him back towards her bed.

They climbed in under the covers, not bothering with pajamas, Chakotay pulling Kathryn to him until he was spooned behind her like he had been the night before. She sighed contentedly as his body touched hers, from their feet all the way up to where he was pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of her neck. She let out another sigh, her lips lifting as she felt Chakotay's hand slide around her and cup her breast under the covers. "Mmm, good night." She spoke on a sigh as her eyes slipped shut, fatigue finally winning out.

"Good night my love," he whispered in her ear, quickly joining her in slumber.

=/\=

Kathryn came awake feeling slightly chilled; somehow the covers had slid down her body, in the night, and she now lay on her back. Just as she was about to turn over and search out Chakotay's warmth, she felt a soft pressure and heat against her knee and the feel of fingers sliding up the inside of her thigh. Chakotay was placing open-mouthed kisses up her calf, following the trail of his fingers as he moved closer to her center.

The coolness of the room was quickly forgotten as her blood began to boil when Chakotay's destination became evident to her.

He gently slid his fingers back down to her knees, pressing lightly to open her legs wider to him, placing soft kisses up to her hip bone, across her stomach and back down. She wasn't sure at what moment he realized that she was awake, but he looked up, his dark eyes meeting hers in the faint light of the moon as his mouth descended on her. She felt the heat of his tongue press between her folds before his lips latched onto her bundle of nerves. The muscles in her legs tensed and she had the urge to press them together, but Chakotay's hands on her thighs kept her still. She arched her hips up, pressing closer to his mouth as he worked over her.

He moaned at her reaction to him, sending vibrations of pleasure into her center. Her right hand slid into his hair, tugging at the locks, urging him on while her other hand found his at her thigh. She laced her fingers between his, holding his hand as she focused on the pleasure growing in her loins.

Chakotay went from lightly nipping her clit to letting the flat of his tongue slide over it, before using the tip to massage circles around it. Kathryn's soft sighs of pleasure quickly turned into keening moans as she felt the telltale signs of impending orgasm begin to build low in her belly.

Using what leverage he had, he pressed her thighs even farther apart, urging her to put one leg over his shoulder as his movements became faster. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Kathryn marveled at the endurance he had in his tongue and lips. He never slowed his movements, and she felt suction as his lips continued to nip and suck on her.

"Oh, right there," she moaned out when the pressure of his lips and tongue hit the right combination. He moaned long and low again, and the vibration of it pushed her over the edge; her orgasm exploding from where his lips latched onto her.

She drew in a sharp breath and held it; her entire body tensing as pleasure coursed through her. She felt the pulses all the way to her fingertips, and just when she felt the sensation reach fever pitch and begin to wain, Chakotay sucked harder, tearing a second orgasm through her body on the coattails of the first.

Her lungs burning for respite, she let out the air on a low whimper, her body completely devoid of feeling or thought, save for the fresh wave of pleasure flowing through her. Every nerve ending was on fire, and just when she thought the sensations would become too much for her overstimulated sex, Chakotay pulled his mouth away, pressing soft kisses again to her inner thighs.

She lay on her back, prone and unmovable as Chakotay slid out from under her leg and worked his way up her body, kissing and touching wherever the mood struck him. Taking a nipple between his lips, he let his tongue circle it in a similar fashion as he'd just done at her center. Kathryn laughed out a soft sigh, taking her bottom lip between her teeth as tingles of aftershocks pulsed wherever he touched.

Finally, he reached her face and pressed his lips to hers; the musky aroma and flavor of her arousal flooding her senses as he kissed her. His lips slid across her cheek to her ear where he latched gently onto her earlobe, biting down gently, "You are delicious," he rumbled in her ear and she shivered, almost laughing at the way her body responded to him as fresh desire began to burn in her center.

Kathryn felt his erection pressing hot and heavy against her folds, and with only the slightest tilt of her hips, the tip of him was sheathed in her heat. He moaned in her ear as he lazily pressed his body forward, closing the distance between them until he was buried to the hilt.

"You know, Chakotay I was sleeping quite soundly, _oh_," she felt his pubic bone press into her already sensitive sex, "but I guess if you had to wake me up, _mmm_," she hummed as he began to languidly slide in and out of her, "that _is_ the best way to go about it."

Chakotay chuckled as his lips moved back to hers to steal another kiss, "I hope you're not too mad," his lust-filled voice was quickly becoming Kathryn's favorite, "because I couldn't help myself when I woke up with you in my arms. It probably won't be the last time it happens either. Fair warning." His movements sped up, but were not rushed at all; he was drawing out his own pleasure in the hopes that Kathryn would be able to find her own again. She felt another orgasm building, but it was a much more languid, liquid pleasure than the first. Warmth and contentment welled up inside her, and the look of pure rapture on Chakotay's slack face as he focused on his impending orgasm forced her own upon her.

"Oh," she breathed out, not at all expecting the intensity of it as warm, slow pleasure poured through her entire being. She kept her eyes on Chakotay, fluttering her inner walls around him as he stroked, once, twice more before pressing his hips hard into hers as he stilled, pulsing inside her as his own orgasm took him.

Kathryn watched the man above her, a man who she had spent the last seven years watching, lose himself in his pleasure. His brow was furrowed, almost in concentration, and his eyes were shut tight. His breath was coming out through his open mouth, sending warm puffs of air across the skin of her jaw and neck. His shoulders quivered as his pleasure tightened and loosened the muscles there. His fingers were still twined with hers, and she realized his thumb was brushing soothingly against hers, just like he did all those years ago on New Earth. She closed her eyes, focusing on the movement of his thumb, his breathing, and the feel of him still buried inside her.

Without warning, tears began to burn in her eyes, and before she could move to wipe them away, Chakotay opened his own and saw them there as they slid down her cheeks and into her hair, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Kathryn closed her eyes and shook her head, wiping the moisture from her face, "Absolutely nothing. I've just dreamed of this for so long, it still feels like I'm dreaming." Her eyes opened and shone with love as she looked up at Chakotay. "I've spent so long loving you without being able to tell you, and then after almost losing you...it just doesn't feel real."

Chakotay leaned down and kissed the tip of her nose, then grinned at her, "Hm, I'm not sure how to make it feel any more real." With that he slid himself, still half erect, out of her slightly before pushing gently back in. Her eyelids fluttered as she caught her lip between her teeth, smiling up at him as he finally pulled out of her. She chuckled.

"Point taken, Commander," she joked softly and his smile widened, pressing his dimples even deeper in his cheeks.

"I love you so much, Kathryn." He collapsed on his side, pulling her body to his as he drew the covers up and over them. Feeling sated and warm in the embrace of the other, they both quickly dropped off to sleep.

=/\=

Kathryn woke up cocooned in the warmth of the blankets of her bed and couldn't help but smile. She stretched her limbs lazily under the covers, chuckling and groaning at the same time as long-forgotten muscles screamed at her from their recent discovery and overuse. She reached towards the other side of the bed, but her hand met only the warmth that Chakotay's body had left behind, probably not long ago. It was then that she heard water running in the bathroom and knew that he was just getting a drink.

Smiling to herself she stretched again, sliding her arm out from under the covers...and against something cold and wet. Jerking her eyes open and her hand back under the blankets, she couldn't help but chuckle when a furry face and warm brown eyes were watching her from the side of the bed. "Well, good morning, Jake."

The golden retriever's body wiggled back and forth as his tail wagged. Kathryn wondered vaguely how he'd gotten in the house, but then remembered in their frenzy last night, they hadn't even closed the front door. She vaguely remembered Chakotay swinging at it with his arm as she pulled him up the stairs, but it must not have latched.

"Mmm, you handsome boy. How long have you been in here?" Kathryn slid back away from the edge of the bed, patting the now open space. The golden retriever wasted no time in jumping up on the bed, flopping down unceremoniously next to Kathryn. She smiled, pulling the dog in to cuddle, pressing her nose into the soft fur at the back of his neck. His tail continued to wag as she let her fingers roam up and down his torso, scratching lightly. He pushed himself closer to her, eliciting another chuckle. "You are a lover, aren't you?"

At that moment Chakotay came out of the bathroom, wearing just his boxers, grinning at the sight before him. "I wondered who you were calling handsome out here." She chuckled, pulling Jake closer to her body.

"What can I say? I like to cuddle in the morning, and you were nowhere to be found." She ruffled the fur of Jake's ears. "You are a cuddler too, aren't you?" She spoke to the dog, smiling when his tail began to wag harder, knowing he was being praised. Chakotay came around the bed to lay down behind her, pulling Kathryn up against his body so he was spooning her.

"Well I hope you can forgive me," Chakotay chuckled, pulling Kathryn up against him under the covers before reaching over to pet Jake as well, "You miss having a dog, don't you?" He pressed a kiss to the shell of her ear.

Kathryn chuckled out a sigh through her nose as she continued to run her fingers through Jake's fur. "Yes, but I haven't really had time for one, and I'd like to get a puppy, but puppies need so much time and energy. I haven't had a lot of either lately."

"Well, I've never had a dog, but I think we'll have to look into getting one when we go home."

Kathryn gave up her attention to Jake and turned to face Chakotay, "We?" Her grin grew into a full-blown smile at the thought.

"Of course, 'we'. I mean, we will have to discuss living arrangements when we get back, but I'm in this for keeps, and you'd better be too, because after last night...and what I hope continues into today…" he trailed off, winking at her as his hand slid up to cup her naked breast, "I'm never letting you go." She closed her eyes and moaned at his touch, arousal quickly building again in the pit of her stomach. However, her stomach took that opportunity to make known that she was also hungry; their activities over the last ten or so hours depleting her body of fuel. Chakotay chuckled as he withdrew his hand, pressing a loud kiss into the skin of her neck. "We need to get some food into you, so you have the energy for what I have planned for you for the rest of the day." He winked again before getting up and out of bed. He moved towards the door, "Come on, Jake. Breakfast." The dog made a dash off the bed to follow him, clearly understanding, and Kathryn chuckled as she too got up and out of bed, pulling on her bathrobe before following the two men downstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

For the next four days, Kathryn woke to the kisses and caresses that Chakotay bestowed before opening her body to him so they could both find their pleasure in the other. Chakotay would make breakfast each morning and sometimes Emma would join them. They would go for walks on the beach, spend time reading and relaxing, and Kathryn met many of Chakotay's friends from before his time in the Maquis.

Kathryn enjoyed watching Chakotay prepare meals, often helping as best she could, which generally consisted of handing him ingredients, spoons, and dishes. He always allowed her to sneak samples of the dishes before they were done, and she did the clean up when they were finished.

On the fifth day, Chakotay was oddly secretive. They made love, had breakfast, made love again, and then shared the shower in Chakotay's room. As they were drying off, Kathryn kept watching Chakotay watch her, a glimmer in his eye, and his dimples finding permanent residence on his face. Finally, Kathryn couldn't take it anymore.

"Chakotay, out with it." He feigned ignorance as he pulled his sweater over his head.

"What are you talking about?" He sat down on the bed to pull on a pair of socks, watching appreciatively as Kathryn pulled on her leggings and an oversized sweater. They had no plans that day other than lounging and reading and, she hoped, spending even more time exploring each other's bodies.

"Chakotay, are you really even trying to pull one over on me? These last four days aside, we've spent the last seven years of our lives together. I can tell when you're keeping a secret, and you've got a whopper rolling around in there, so out with it."

He grinned, pulling Kathryn down into his lap before pressing a kiss to her lips, "I have a surprise for you, that should probably be here in about a half-hour." He knew now that he'd lost her attention and focus, her eyes went wide.

"It will _be here_? Who is bringing it? What is it?" She stood up, crossing her arms before him.

"If I told you, it wouldn't be much of a surprise. Emma is bringing it, and staring at the clock won't make eleven get here any sooner."

She huffed at him, feigning irritation and maybe even harboring some real irritation, but she smiled, "You're impossible."

His grin grew into a cheeky smile, "And yet you still love me."

"Yes, I still do."

After they were finished getting dressed they headed downstairs. Chakotay sat down on the sofa, picking up the book he'd been reading the day before, but Kathryn moved to the kitchen, pouring herself a large mug of coffee. Instead of sitting down beside Chakotay, she began to pace the living room, working herself back and forth between the kitchen and the sitting area, glancing at the door nearly every fifteen to twenty seconds. Chakotay tried to focus on his reading but was distracted by Kathryn's fidgeting. "Kathryn, wearing a hole in the floor won't get them here any sooner." He cringed at his slip of the tongue, knowing Kathryn wouldn't miss it.

"_Them_? Who is Emma bringing here?" She stopped in her pacing and spun to face Chakotay, "Spill it, Commander." Her hands went to her hips, portraying a visage of his former Captain. He wasn't sure what she expected; he wasn't as affected by that stance as he used to be.

"I resigned from Starfleet, remember? I don't have to take orders from you anymore." He reached for her arm and pulled her to sit down beside him, "But you will always be my Captain." He pressed his lips to hers, hoping to temporarily distract her from her thoughts.

She sighed into his kiss, but he could tell that her mind was still on whoever was about to arrive. He was just sliding his fingers into her hair when there was a knock at the door. Kathryn bolted up out of her seat, glancing between Chakotay and the door before an embarrassed smile pulled at her lips. Chakotay just grinned, standing up and nodding towards the door, "You'd better answer it."

Kathryn took a deep breath, suddenly full of nervous energy as she closed the distance to the door and took hold of the knob. Turning it gently she opened the door.

Before her stood Emma…

...and Gretchen and Phoebe Janeway.

"Mom? Phee? What...what are you doing here?" Chakotay stood back by the sofa, keeping out of the way as Kathryn was reunited with her family.

Her mother pulled her into a hug, tears brimming and falling down the face of the Janeway matriarch. "Chakotay invited us," she pulled back, cupping her elder daughter's face, "But I see he didn't tell you that." Gretchen glanced over her daughter's shoulder to look the man in the face, smiling sweetly at him.

Phoebe came in and pulled her sister into a tight hug, "It's about time I see you with a smile on your face." Then she leaned in to whisper in her sister's ear, "It's good to have you back, sis."

Kathryn felt overwhelmed as her sister pulled her closer, along with the feel of her mother's arms around both of them. She felt her nervous energy slowly release along with all of the feelings of longing she'd been carrying deep in her heart. This wasn't the first time she'd seen her family since Voyager's return from the Delta quadrant, but she hadn't been present with them last time. Her body had been in Indiana, but her mind was still lost on the other side of the galaxy. Now, thanks to this vacation, and the help of Chakotay, she was back, and as she melted into the embrace of the two most important women in her life, she felt lighter and more carefree than she truly had since they'd come home.

Gretchen could see and feel the change in her daughter as her own tears of relief swam in her blue-grey eyes. She glanced up at the dark haired man that she'd only met once, officially and mouthed the words, 'thank you' to him as she pulled her daughters closer.

Emma moved to stand beside Chakotay, leaning into him as they watched the family reunion. He leaned down to whisper to her, so that they wouldn't be overheard, "Thank you for going to get them; for helping me put this together." Emma punched his arm gently in response before wrapping her arm around him.

Kathryn felt an overwhelming sense of relief wash over her as her sister and mother pulled back and they all looked at each other. Her eyes moved between the two women and spotted Chakotay in the background, her love for him grew even more as she realized he'd put all of this together...for her.

"Mom, Phoebe, I know you met him briefly at the banquet, but I want you to officially meet my former first officer, Chakotay."

Normally when Chakotay was being introduced to someone in the fleet world, he would draw himself up taller, falling into an 'attention' stance, but as he moved forward towards the women, there was an air of relaxation about him that nearly caused Kathryn to chuckle out loud.

Gretchen pulled him into an embrace, not at all concerned about decorum. She knew how important this man was to her firstborn, and how important he was in their getting home safely. She owed Commander Chakotay a great deal and had a feeling she would be seeing a lot more of him as the future unfolded. Pulling back, the elder Janeway looked up into his dark eyes, "It's good to see you in person again Chakotay." She let her hand come up to rest on his cheek, unable to keep her smile from widening as he beamed down at her.

"And you, Gretchen. I'm glad you were able to make the trip. I know Kathryn really missed you and Phoebe." Gretchen nodded, patting his cheek one more time.

"It's nice to see you again, Chakotay," Phoebe took her mom's place, pressing a kiss to Chakotay's cheek as she hugged him as well. "I'm glad this worked out."

"Same here. How was the drive in?"

"Oh, there's time for all that later, come help me with their bags, brother." Chakotay moved towards the door and towards Emma.

"Bags?" Kathryn spoke, dumbfounded by the whole situation, but getting her bearings back quickly, "How long are you staying?"

Gretchen smiled at her daughter, "Just a day or two. We don't want to spoil your whole vacation, but Chakotay thought we could all get together and catch up...have a real family reunion."

Chakotay smiled at Kathryn before heading outside with Emma. "I really appreciate this Emma, and I know Kathryn does as well."

"Of course, brother. I can't begin to understand all that you went through out there, but I see the changes in Kathryn just in the few days you've been here, and I'm sure having family around can only make things even easier now." She pulled a bag from the back of the truck and handed it to Chakotay, "And about what we talked about yesterday, I'm going to take Kathryn and Phoebe shopping with me, so you'll have Gretchen all to yourself for a while."

Chakotay felt butterflies flutter in his stomach at the thought. "I appreciate that, Emma." She just winked at him as they carried the bags back in the house.

Chakotay took them from Emma and carried everything upstairs into the room that had been his for only one night. Gretchen and Phoebe had had no compunction in sharing a room, and though nothing had been spoken aloud, it had been made evident that Kathryn and Chakotay would be sharing the other one. Gretchen hadn't stopped smiling during their entire comm call the day before.

Chakotay, under the guise of going to help a neighbor fix his tractor, had walked down to the public library to make a very important call to a farmhouse in Bloomington, Indiana. The eldest living Janeway had been all too eager to reconnect with her firstborn, and nearly as eager to spend time with the man that had seemingly brought her out of the depression she'd fallen into since arriving back in the Alpha quadrant. Plans had been quickly made, and Emma had been happy to pick Phoebe and Gretchen up at the transport station.

Chakotay had also asked her to figure out a way to get Phoebe and Kathryn out of the house so he could have a talk with Gretchen. Emma agreed, and now, as Chakotay took a deep breath, the moment was finally upon him.

Just as Chakotay came back downstairs, Emma spoke, "I want everyone over for dinner tonight at my house, but I'm not sure what to make. Kathryn, Phoebe, will you come to the market with me and help me pick something?"

"You have real, honest to God shopping markets here?" Phoebe was instantly entranced. She'd never been to a low tech community before. Kathryn just smirked at her sister.

"We do, and I'd love for you ladies to accompany me." Kathryn wondered at Emma not including Chakotay or Gretchen.

"Why don't we all go?" Kathryn suggested, and somehow Chakotay hadn't thought of that eventuality.

"You girls go," Gretchen spoke, sitting down on the sofa, "I'm pretty tired, and it'll give me a chance to get to know Chakotay without you or any other Starfleet admirals hovering around," Kathryn huffed, but Chakotay grinned at her.

"Don't worry," Emma spoke, moving towards the door, "We won't be gone long." Phoebe was chomping at the bit, they could all tell, but Kathryn gave Chakotay a look. He knew she didn't want to be parted from him, and without being able to hug or kiss him goodbye, but they hadn't really officially outed themselves as a couple yet, and she didn't want to be too forward if Chakotay wasn't comfortable with it.

Chakotay surprised them all, except perhaps Gretchen, when he pulled Kathryn's jacket off the hook and held it up for her. Once she'd slipped her arms inside she turned and he pulled her into a gentle kiss. Phoebe's mouth dropped open and he felt Kathryn's lips flutter against his as he brushed his thumb gently against her cheek, pulling away after just a few seconds. "See you soon."

Gretchen smiled, watching her daughters as they bid their goodbyes and left with Emma. Once she was alone with Chakotay, she couldn't help her smile growing wider. He was so different from Justin or Mark, but then Kathryn was much different as well. Time had passed and lives had changed drastically.

"Can I get you something to drink, Gretchen? There's water, tea, coffee…" he felt oddly nervous being alone with the woman that suddenly held his future in her hands, even if she didn't know it.

"Well, if I know Kathryn, she's already brewed a pot of coffee and hasn't had enough time to drink _all_ of it yet, so if that's the case, I'll have a cup of coffee."

She moved to sit at the kitchen island, watching Chakotay as he poured her a mug of coffee, and one for himself before preparing another pot. "I didn't realize you were such a coffee drinker." Chakotay chuckled.

"I'm not, but I know Kathryn won't be pleased if they get back and there isn't another pot waiting for her." He spoke, adding cream and sugar to his. Gretchen preferred hers black.

"You know, Chakotay, we didn't really have a chance to speak at the banquet, and I really appreciate you inviting us here on your vacation." Chakotay sat down across from her, watching Kathryn's mother as she spoke.

He could easily picture Kathryn being her mother's twin in another twenty years. Gretchen had once had lovely auburn hair like her daughters, but age had run many grey and white streaks through it that she had done nothing to cover up. Her eyes were a steely grey; the same tone that Kathryn's took on when she was deeply focused on something unpleasant. The sharp jaw and handsome features were the same, and though Chakotay had only seen a photo of Kathryn's father once, she was certainly her mother's daughter in terms of looks.

"No, we didn't really have a chance to visit, and I am hoping to remedy that. There's so much I want to tell you and ask you." He took a sip of his own coffee, thinking of Kathryn's nose turning up every time he ruined the perfect beverage with sweetener or cream. "How much did Kathryn tell you about our time in the Delta quadrant?"

Gretchen took a sip of her coffee, her brow furrowing, "Not much. I'm sure you know that after you all returned, it was a very stressful time for Kate. Between the debriefings and interviews and the crew all going their separate ways, she was pretty down by the time she made it home to Indiana."

Chakotay's brow pinched to match Gretchen's, "I'm afraid a lot of that was my fault, in an indirect sort of way." Gretchen cocked her head, questioningly. Chakotay took a deep breath. "Kathryn and I grew very close while we were in the Delta quadrant, first as co-workers, and then as friends." His memory flew back through the thousands of interactions between himself and Kathryn over the last seven years. "We were even infected with an alien virus and quarantined on a planet for months. We thought at the time we would have to spend our lives there; our doctor couldn't find a cure, and Kathryn sent Voyager on without us." Gretchen's eyes went wide at that.

"I had no idea…"

"I know. Kathryn would do anything, including sacrifice her life for her crew, and to get them home. She nearly lost her life on several occasions." Chakotay didn't like to think about those moments. "We grew very close on that planet. I had already fallen in love with her by then," his dimples pressed into his cheeks, "and the thought of spending the rest of my life with her there, I have to admit, wasn't at all an unpleasant prospect. But she was driven to find a cure, and though she wasn't able to, our crew did. Against her orders, they came back for us.

"I've never been so unhappy to have been rescued before," he chuckled into his coffee mug, "But I made her a promise on that planet that I would stay by her side, no matter what happened; that I would do all I could to make her burdens lighter." He nodded to himself, remembering the moment perfectly, "And for nearly the next seven years I did just that. I did my best to be her shoulder to lean on, and her conscience when she needed a second opinion."

Gretchen watched Chakotay as he slowly poured his heart out to her. It was so obvious how completely in love with Kathryn he was, and she felt her heart swell with emotions she hadn't felt in a long long time. Reaching across the small distance, she took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze for him to continue.

"Towards the end of our voyage, though we didn't know it was at the time, another young female crew member began to show interest in me, in more than a professional manner." His eyes lifted and held Gretchens, "You have to know, I loved Kathryn that entire time. My feelings only grew, but…"

"But she kept you at arm's length because that's what Starfleet would have wanted," Gretchen scoffed at her own words. Chakotay chuckled but nodded.

"Yes. We had a very loose and unspoken agreement, but the thought of waiting seventy years for her did get a bit depressing to think about, but I was prepared to do it. But then someone else seemed interested, and though I didn't really reciprocate her feelings, I must admit the attention felt nice." Gretchen squeezed his hand.

"Long story short, nothing happened there, but then we were home, and Kathryn was gone."

Gretchen set her mug down and took Chakotay's other hand in hers. "That explains a lot; her behavior, her distance, her being there but not _really _being there."

"What do you mean?"

"I didn't know about what happened between you; she never talked about it. But she was acting the same way she did after her fiance Justin passed away."

Chakotay felt as though he'd been punched in the gut. Though he and Kathryn had already made peace with everything that had happened, he still felt awful for causing her _any _amount of pain and heartache. He had the sudden urge to hold her to him, press kisses into her hair, and apologize for every time in her life she'd ever been hurt. Gretchen could see all of that in his eyes as if he'd spoken the words aloud.

"Oh, son, I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad. I just wanted you to know that I understand where her mind was now. It shows me how much she loves you as well." She gave his hands a squeeze, "I know she loves you." Chakotay smiled.

"We've been through so much together, but we've had to deceive each other, and we often disagreed with each other. It hasn't been easy."

"Life with Kate never will be, but I have a feeling you can handle her. She needs someone like you in her life." That fluttery feeling in Chakotay's stomach reared up again at the thought.

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Gretchen, because I have a very important question I need to ask you." She absolutely beamed at him, hoping she knew what he was about to say.

"I never got a chance to meet your husband, but I have him to thank as much as you, for having Kathryn in my life, and I'd like to ask for your blessing. I'd like, with all my heart, to ask Kathryn to marry me."


	11. Chapter 11

Emma dropped Phoebe and Kathryn off about an hour and a half after they had left, and Kathryn was nearly desperate to be near Chakotay. She was desperate to be in his arms, desperate to feel his solid form beside her...and desperate to know what he and her mother had talked about while they were away. When they opened the front door they found Chakotay and Gretchen sitting across from each other at the kitchen island, grinning like fools and both sipping on mugs of coffee. They both turned at the sound of the door, their conversation halting instantly.

Chakotay beamed at her and she felt irritation well up inside her. Not _actual _irritation, but frustration from the nagging feeling that she was the topic of conversation, and she didn't like not knowing what was being said. Her mother looked to have had tears in her eyes, but she just smiled at her daughter. Kathryn looked between them in a huff before glancing at the mugs of coffee, "There had better be more of that." She spoke in a voice that was just a tad more menacing than joking. Chakotay got up and poured her a generous cup.

"Seven years with you in the Delta quadrant taught me to _always_ have more coffee at the ready." He handed her the mug, his other hand coming up to her jaw, his thumb brushing against her cheekbone. She felt her ire leave her at his gentle touch.

"And seven years with _you_ in the Delta quadrant taught me to know when you're up to something." It was a statement, not a question, and Chakotay just smiled, leaning down to peck her lips before sitting back down across from her mother. Phoebe watched the entire interaction with a grin on her face.

For the next few hours the four of them sat together, first around the kitchen island and then in the living room, chatting about everything. Gretchen and Phoebe were eager to learn more about Chakotay's past, and even Kathryn hadn't heard some of the stories he told of his childhood and his time in the Maquis.

Kathryn recounted many tales of the happier times in the Delta quadrant, and even some of the less happy. She told her mother and sister about New Earth, and Gretchen, God bless her, pretended to know nothing about it. Now that Gretchen and Phoebe unofficially knew of the relationship between the former captain and commander, Kathryn was a bit more bold in her story telling; recounting how Chakotay had built her a bathtub and did all he could to make them a home. She spoke of him saving her life on a barren planet after their shuttle was shot down, and how he'd reigned her in when her decision-making had taken things on Voyager too far.

They both spoke of the crew that had become a family, and fielded dozens and dozens of questions from Gretchen and Phoebe both. They were interested in the adventures to be sure, but they both, Gretchen especially, were interested in the mundane; the staff meetings, the duty shifts, the off hour entertainment...everything. Chakotay realized how little Kathryn had spoken to her family when they'd first gotten back, and as they sat on the sofa together as Kathryn told them about Sandrine's, he couldn't help but pull her closer to his side in a silent apology for all the hardships she'd silently born by herself during their seven year exile.

They'd finally journeyed across the street for a late lunch with Emma and Johnny, who was over helping clear out some of the spent garden plants. They talked and laughed for another few hours, regaled mostly by Emma's stories of Chakotay as a child. She saved the most embarrassing for last, and when they were ready to leave Chakotay was red-faced and everyone was wiping tears of laughter from their eyes.

When they started their walk back across the street, Chakotay hung back. "I have a quick errand to run with Emma." Kathryn's brow furrowed as she looked at him, his secret coming back to the forefront of her mind. "We won't be gone long. We are just going to the library."

"The library?" Kathryn knew that the local library had a communicator and she was suddenly curious of the true nature of his needing to go there.

"Yes, the library. That's all I'm going to tell you, so don't bother trying to sneak answers from me." He glanced up, watching as Johnny, Phoebe and Gretchen moved down the driveway and out of sight. He pulled Kathryn beneath the foliage of a large maple tree and before she could protest he silenced her with his lips on hers.

She melted into him instantly, and he realized as her tongue slid hungrily against his that this was the longest they'd gone without making love since that first night, and he suddenly craved her. In an instant he was hard and pressing his erection against her as his lips worked against hers. She swallowed his moan as she rubbed herself wantonly against him, her fingers sliding into his hair to draw him closer. He indulged them both for a moment, knowing Emma would be out in a few minutes.

Finally, before he lost complete control and embarrassed them both, he reluctantly pulled away. Kathryn stood before him, pinned against the tree, panting and flushed, and it took everything in him to take a step back. Kathryn let out a groan of frustration as she finally opened her eyes, heavily lidded with lust.

"You'd better catch up to your mom and sister before they come back wondering what kept you." He grinned at her, his dimples pressing into his own flushed cheeks. "I just wanted something to tide me over until we're alone in that house again." He'd known they wouldn't be able to be intimate while her family was in the next room, and he was fine with that. As long as he got to sleep beside her and steal a few kisses and touches, he would be satisfied.

She gave him her best 'Janeway glare' that quickly turned into a devilish grin as she winked at him, "Play your cards right and you won't have to wait that long," she whispered before walking away, not turning back to see his jaw drop as he watched after her.

Damn he loved this woman.

He'd just gotten his arousal under control when Emma came out to meet him at her truck. "So, you gonna tell me what this trip to the library is all about, or do I have to guess?" They got in and she fired up the engine.

"Let's see if it works out first, and then I'll tell you." Emma just grinned as she drove down the driveway and turned in the direction of the library.

It was an old brick building set amongst the trees. It had been rebuilt and maintained over the years, but part of the structure was the original, and Chakotay marveled at the craftsmanship. It was surrounded by maple trees set ablaze by the setting sun, their orange leaves glowing in the waning light. Several people walked through the woods on what was once an old bike trail; still maintained by the locals to use for hiking and hoverboard riding. Emma went inside with Chakotay, pointed out the small row of communicators and then went to browse some of the old history books to give him privacy.

Chakotay sat down at the farthest terminal, switched it on and keyed in the ID number of the call he wanted to place. It only took a few seconds before the screen activated. The very tired but smiling face of B'Elanna appeared before him. "Chakotay, this is a surprise. Aren't you on vacation?"

He grinned and nodded, "I am. We are having a very nice time." B'Elanna's brow rose as her eyes widened.

"_We__?_ Care to elaborate?" She gave him a knowing smile, but wanted to hear him say it before her suspicions were confirmed.

Chakotay chuckled, tugging on his ear gently, his own dead giveaway, "Uh, I invited Kathryn to come with me, and she agreed." B'Elanna's smile widened.

"I'm so happy for you, Chakotay. Don't screw it up this time, alright?" Chakotay shook his head at his friend.

"Well, I actually have a favor to ask of you that will help ensure that I don't. I was hoping you could transport over to my place and get something for me, and have it beamed to the transporter pad here." B'Elanna gave him a quizzical look. "I'm staying in a low tech community. I'm actually calling from the library. It's the only place in town with communicators, and it has one transporter pad for small items only. It's mainly used for medical supplies and emergencies."

B'Elanna nodded, "Alright, Miral is down for her nap and Tom is here, so he can keep an eye on her. What am I looking for?"

Chakotay took a deep breath, knowing that this would give away his plan. "In my bedroom in the dresser, in the top left drawer there is a ring box." He watched the screen as B'Elanna's mouth fell open.

"Chakotay, you dog! You're finally gonna make an honest woman out of our Captain, huh? Took you two long enough!" Tom appeared behind B'Elanna, a stupid grin on his face, his blue eyes twinkling.

"That's the plan, Tom. But I can't very well ask her without the ring." B'Elanna nodded, giving Tom a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Give me a few minutes to set up a transport." B'Elanna moved out of the screen.

"So, the Captain and Commander are gonna get married. Can I be the best man?" Tom grinned as he sat down where B'Elanna had been.

=/\=

Chakotay entered their vacation home about an hour after everyone else, the weight of the small velvet box in his jacket pocket making butterflies flutter around in his stomach. Kathryn and Phoebe were out on the back patio, chatting softly as they watched the sunset. Gretchen was on the sofa reading a book, but looked up when Chakotay entered. "Did you get it?" She eyed him expectantly.

Chakotay grinned, his dimples on full display, "Yes, B'Elanna sent it over." Gretchen pressed her lips together, standing up to give Chakotay a hug. He embraced her gladly, already enjoying having the Janeway matriarch in his corner. It had been a long time since he'd had a mother figure in his life, and he was quickly growing quite fond of having Gretchen here now.

"Oh," she pulled back quickly, speaking softly, "Can I see it?"

"See what?" Kathryn spoke as she and Phoebe came back inside. Kathryn moved to the wine rack and searched for a bottle for them all to share.

"A picture of Miral," Chakotay spoke honestly as he pulled a miniature PADD from his other pocket. He had in fact downloaded a photo of the little girl that B'Elanna had sent. Miral now had two bottom teeth and a grin as cheesy as her father, and she was showing off both in the small photo. "I was telling your mother earlier about Tom and B'Elanna, and while I was at the library I commed B'Elanna and asked her to water some of my houseplants. While we were chatting she sent me the photo." It wasn't a complete fabrication. He _had_ asked her to water his plants, since he wasn't sure how much longer he'd be in Michigan.

"Oh, I want to see it too." Kathryn cooed as she came over to stand beside Chakotay. He pulled the PADD from his pocket and held it up so both women could see it. "She's getting so big," Kathryn commented dreamily, "We have to go see them when we get back. I don't want her to forget who we are."

"It can be our first stop if you like." Chakotay wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to him, her own hand coming up to draw lazy patterns on his back as they stood side by side.

"She's a doll," Gretchen spoke, and Phoebe came over to look at the photograph as well.

Kathryn looked at the sweet face in the holoimage for a moment, a sudden feeling of longing pulling at a place deep in her heart. Pushing the emotion back she looked up at her mother, "You'll have to come out to San Francisco sometime and meet them...properly. Not at a Starfleet function. I want you to meet everyone properly."

Her mother nodded, pressing a palm to her daughter's cheek before moving away with Phoebe. Chakotay watched Kathryn glance back at the photo, a far away look in those blue eyes before she too looked away. When she spoke, though she tried to hide it, her voice was thick with emotion. "Well, did you get everything done that you wanted to at the library?"

Chakotay grinned, knowing that she wasn't going to press, for his benefit. She knew very well that he hadn't gone to the library to get a picture of Miral, but she was willing to let it go. He leaned down to peck her lips gently, "Yes, I did. Now, why don't you find the best bottle of wine we have and open it. I'll build a fire upstairs and the four of us can sit out there and chat."

"Sounds wonderful. I think mom's going to make something small to eat, since we ate a late lunch." Chakotay nodded, begging one more kiss before he headed upstairs.

=/\=

Kathryn closed her eyes with a sigh as Chakotay slid up behind her at the bathroom vanity. The emotions of the day had finally caught up with her and Kathryn was exhausted, excusing herself after barely finishing her glass of wine. She'd brushed her fingertips against Chakotay's lips as she'd bid him goodnight, encouraging him to continue visiting with her mother and sister. She'd slipped through the sliding doors into her bedroom and moved to her bureau to find a pair of pajamas. There was still a chill in the air, despite the fire in the hearth downstairs, so she opted for an oversized button up cotton top and matching pants. She washed off her makeup and was just brushing her teeth when Chakotay came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her middle.

With a grin she rinsed her mouth, "You didn't have to come in." She closed her eyes, leaning back into his chest, adoring the feel of his solid warmth behind her.

"Your mom and sister went in also. It's been an emotional day for everyone, I think," he pressed his nose into her hair, inhaling deeply, letting his breath play against her ear as he sighed contentedly. "They plan on heading back to the transport station tomorrow evening, so we have all day tomorrow to visit, and we can go and visit them anytime you want to."

Kathryn smiled, turning in his arms to give him a proper hug. She was loving how easily their lives were molding together in just a few days time. They'd fallen into an easy synchronicity on Voyager, and though it started because their duty shifts typically aligned, it quickly morphed into a friendship that often times saw them together off duty as well. Official meetings had turned into friendly dinners with some talk of work. Tactical training sessions on the holodeck usually ended with a walk along the Santa Monica Pier or a hike through the Arizona canyons. Their working lives and private lives had become so intermingled when they were not on duty that it surprised the crew more to see their Captain or Commander by themselves than it surprised them to see the two together.

Kathryn sighed as she wrapped her arms around Chakotay, letting her fingers slide up under his sweater to move across the warm skin of his back. She heard his soft moan of appreciation, smiling to herself as she looked up into his warm brown eyes. "Make love to me."

Chakotay's eyes went wide even as he felt the stirrings of his arousal begin to grow at her words, "Kathryn, your family is on the other side of the wall." She grinned mischievously at him.

"Well then, we'd better be quiet."

=/\=

Chakotay woke early, and though he wanted to go back to sleep, he wanted even more to surprise Kathryn with breakfast in bed, and hopefully have it made and brought back up before her mother and sister woke up. He carefully slid out from under the covers, hoping to trap his body heat to keep Kathryn warm while she slept. Pulling on a sweatshirt, he moved silently out of the room.

The house had cooled considerably overnight and his first order of business was to build up a fire in the hearth so everyone would wake to a comfortable temperature. A quick glance outside told him that it had frozen overnight. There was no snow, but a thin layer of frost covered the windows. Chakotay quickly had a fire built and then moved into the kitchen to make some coffee and french toast.

About a half hour later everything was done. He'd found a wooden tray and loaded it with plates, two mugs of coffee, several pieces of french toast, and a large bowl of cut fruit. After adding the silverware he covered the extra he'd made so it would hopefully still be warm when Phoebe and Gretchen came down.

Thankfully all was quiet as he made his way back upstairs and into their bedroom. Kathryn roused at the sound of the door, her lips turning up in a sleepy smile as she opened her eyes to the sight before her. Chakotay couldn't help but smile at the image of her, so different from the polished and preened Starfleet officer he'd known for so long. What he wouldn't give to wake up to this every morning. "Good morning, love."

Kathryn sat up against the pillows, "Good morning indeed. What's the occasion?" Chakotay grinned as he sat the tray across her lap before sliding under the blankets beside her.

He pressed a kiss to her lips and let the backs of his fingers brush against her jaw, "It's a special day." He kissed her again before she could answer or question him.

Chuckling, she finally pulled away and glanced down at the tray, "Well, Chakotay, I'm-" she was rendered speechless as her eyes landed on a small black velvet box on the tray between the plates. It was open, and the ring inside took her breath away. It was a simple silver band, but the stone in the center wasn't like any she'd ever seen before. It wasn't a diamond, its facets sparkled even brighter. It was clear, and the stone was the palest blue she'd ever seen, and vibrant; almost as though illuminated from within.

Chakotay watched her for a moment before lifting the box and taking the ring out, her eyes following the movement before landing on his face. "I found this gemstone on New Earth. It reminded me of you, so I kept it." He held the ring in his palm as he looked at it. "I had just planned on giving you the stone, but then we were rescued, and I thought any reminder of New Earth would just make you sad, so I held onto it. Then I was going to make it into a necklace for your birthday, but you had such rare occasions to wear jewelry, I decided not to."

"And then what?" her voice came out on a whisper.

"And after I nearly lost you on Quarra, I made it into a ring. I wasn't sure when I would give it to you, but I knew I wanted to." He finally looked up at her, "The time was just never right until now."

Kathryn's eyes stayed on the ring in his hand for a moment before lifting to Chakotay's face, "You had that with you on Voyager?"

"I did." He lifted the ring between thumb and finger, "Kathryn Janeway, you have been, without a doubt, the most important person in my life, and from the moment I met you, I knew I didn't want to spend another day without you. I have no idea what the future might hold for either of us, but I know that the only person that I want to face that future with is you. Kathryn Janeway, will you marry me?"

He watched as Kathryn's eyes filled with tears, and a smile, the likes of which he'd never seen before, blossomed on her face. She raised her hand, pressing her palm against his cheek, "Chakotay," she breathed out, "You have been by my side for so long, I can't imagine a day _without _you by my side," she laughed as the tears spilled down her cheeks, "Of course, I will marry you."

They both laughed through their tears as Chakotay slid the ring on her finger, placing a kiss on her knuckles as the metal slid home. She admired it there for a moment before she furrowed her brow, "Wait, you said you _made_ the stone into a ring?"

Chakotay grinned, tugging on his ear, "Um, yeah. B'Elanna helped me smooth the stone and cut it, but I made the band and set the stone myself." Kathryn chuckled.

"You had B'Elanna help you? She knew about your feelings for me while we were still on Voyager?"

"To be fair, Kathryn, I'm pretty sure everyone onboard Voyager knew about my feelings for you," they both chuckled, "But I knew I could trust her, and she was very happy at the idea of us together. She had a few choice words for me when I told her about Seven." Kathryn pulled a face and Chakotay laughed again, "Don't feel bad, I deserved each and every one of them." He leaned in for another kiss. "I love you so much, Kathryn."

"I love you too," she glanced down at the ring again and chuckled, "I can't wait to hear what my mom has to say about this."

Chakotay tugged his ear again, "Well, she was all for it when I asked her permission yesterday." His dimples pressed deeply into his cheeks at the look of shock that broke out on Kathryn's face.

"You asked my mother?" Her heart fluttered at the thoughtful gesture, knowing that Chakotay would take Gretchen's opinion of himself very seriously.

"Of course I did. Your mother's opinion of me...of us together means a great deal to me. I know we still don't know each other extremely well, but for her to have faith in me that I will take care of you, and love you like you deserve," he paused, "That's very important to me."

Kathryn beamed at him, "Well then, let's eat this wonderful breakfast you've made, and then go downstairs and show off your handiwork."


End file.
